Apparently this is an attractive and dangerous fantasy. This month the Harvard Business Review LinkedIn Discussion Forum has been visualizing “the ideal boss.” The discussion has attracted over 300 comments from thought leaders around the globe.
Top 10 Characteristics of an “Ideal” Boss
As I read the comments, I did a rough stroke count of the main ideas (not a scientific content analysis, and I invite other interpretations). With that said…
Apparently we want our boss to…
- engage us in a compelling vision
- have the utmost integrity
- be authentic and transparent
- treat us kindly and fairly
- develop, mentor, and coach us
- empower and trust us
- communicate clearly
- motivate us
- be competent and knowledgeable
- have a sense of humor
Quite a list. As leaders, all of these are nobel characteristics to strive toward. Have you ever had a boss that did all these things, all the time? It’s a bit like looking for Mr. Right… you can have a great list of ideal characteristics…
…but in real life people show up messy.
Leaders are people. Therefore your boss will never live up to all these expectations.
In Defense of the Imperfect Boss
I bet you’ve learned a lot from great bosses. I hope your boss has all the characteristics on the list above. But if they don’t, that may be even better. Don’t get hung up in false hopes, fantasies, and disappointments.
Instead, learn from the imperfection.
Think for a minute about the worst bosses you’ve ever had.
- That insecure guy
- Ms. disorganized
- Joe poor communicator
- Jane risk averse
- Mr. big talker
- Ima too busy
- ?
What did they teach you about leadership? What did you learn about yourself? How did your skills grow?
Did your imperfect boss grow along the way? What did you learn from that process?
We can’t choose our bosses any more than we can choose our relatives. Instead of getting frustrated, consider your bosses imperfections as a blessing.
- Why have they entered my life?
- How can we help one another to grow?
- How can I be most helpful?
See Also:
Unnecessary Roughness: What Happens When Leader are Mean?
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From the non-profit sector, I’ll add this is all true for board members of an organization as well.
Eric, great add. I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks, as always
I don’t want my boss to be perfect. If they were, which is impossible, they’d be intimidating. How would I learn anything from them without knowing they had flaws?
Steve, wait a minute… aren’t you your own boss?
Nice work Karin! This is great stuff!
I always try to think in terms of humility. If I were in his or her position, how would I be? What problems would I have? How could I make it easier to be my boss. It makes it a lot harder to criticize when I think like that.
I agree with you that there is not really a perfect boss. Perfect is subjective anyway. I think the biggest thing from a boss is that they are willing to “grow”, learn, and listen.
I don’t want someone that’s perfect; I want someone that’s always striving to be better than what they are right now and inspires me to be the same.
Bob, a beautiful perspective (as always). Perfect is indeed subjective. Humility matters.
Great blog. I’ve always admired leaders who communicate their organization’s true purpose, who verbalize their expectations of your role, and who provide meaningful feedback (with examples).
Terri, thanks so much for joining the conversation. Ahh yes, meaningful feedback with examples is so helpful. Thanks for adding that.