Wisdom at Work: What Wise People Say When Stakes are High

What Wisdom at Work Looks Like (and How to Cultivate More of It)

You’ve probably worked with someone you’d describe as having wisdom at work. They don’t always talk the most, but when they do, everyone leans in.

They don’t overreact, overpromise, or overpower. They just… bring something different. Grounded presence. Clarity about what matters most. Calm under pressure that feels contagious.

And maybe, you’ve wondered—how do I become more like that?

Here’s the good news: wisdom doesn’t come with a title. You don’t even need gray hair (although at this point in the game, we wish that gray hair would make us more wise;-).

We’ve worked with some wonderfully wise, young, human-centered leaders. And of course, we’ve met our fair share of impulsive short-sighted executives with plenty of gray (or no hair at all) calling the shots.

Wisdom is something you practice. And the workplace needs it now more than ever.

So, What Is Wisdom at Work?

It’s not about being the smartest person in the room. It’s not about knowing all the answers or quoting the latest research (unless it’s ours 😉.  Wisdom at work shows up in how you respond when things are messy, unclear, or emotionally charged.

Wisdom at work includes the ability to pause before reacting, ask a better question instead of making a louder point, and choose words that move the conversation forward instead of just proving you’re right.

Wisdom shows up in the ability to dance with clarity and curiosity, as we talk about in our book, Courageous Cultures. And, “landing in the AND” of confidence and humility, results and relationships, as we teach in our leadership development programs. 

Where Does Wisdom at Work Come From?

Of course, it wouldn’t be wise for us to think we could teach this in three paragraphs in a blog post. But here are a few thoughts on where to start.

Grow from experience: Wisdom comes not just from experience, but what we learn from those experiences and what we DO with those experiences. For example, if we have a big regret, what do we learn from it? (see also Karin’s interview with Dan Pink on regrets)

Gain a broader perspective: Putting yourself into uncomfortable situations where people are smarter than you (in the same way, or different ways). To deliberately work in areas you’re not good at, or to take on projects you’ve never tried before. We find travel, particularly when we’re engaging and collaborating with people in other countries, provides amazing opportunities to broaden our perspectives and challenge our assumptions. For example, as we write this, we are preparing for a two-week courageous leadership adventure in Vietnam where we will speak, teach, learn, volunteer, and grow.

Learn from others: Research. Read. Listen. Watch what’s working for others (and, even more importantly what’s not). One of our favorite, practical techniques to get feedback is what we call a DIY (Do It Yourself) 360. More here.

5 Practical Ways to Be More Wise at Work

While you can’t always control what’s happening around you, you can choose to show up wiser—moment by moment, conversation by conversation.

1. Slow the conversation down.

Wisdom rarely rushes. When things get heated, wise leaders breathe instead of bulldozing.
Try: “Let’s take a breath here before we decide.”
Or even: “Can we hit pause? I want to be thoughtful about this.”

2. Watch your emotional ripple.

People absorb your tone, your energy, your micro-reactions. Wisdom is contagious—but so is anxiety.
Before you respond, ask: “What’s the impact I want to have in this moment?”

3. Ask better questions.

Wise people don’t jump to solutions—they dig deeper.
Try: “What’s the real tension here?” or “What do we need to understand before we act?”

4. Speak less, mean more.

You don’t need to fill the silence. Some of the wisest people we know say less, but every word counts.
Aim for clarity, not volume. One well-placed question or summary can shift the entire room.

5. Choose progress over ego.

It’s tempting to defend your turf or “win” the moment. But wisdom plays the long game.
Try: “What’s the best next step for the team?” even if it’s not your idea.
That’s not weakness—it’s leadership.

Are You Seen as Wise at Work?

You might be wise—but if it doesn’t land that way, it’s not helping.

Ask yourself:

• When I speak, do people get quieter—or more defensive?
• Do colleagues seek my input on difficult issues, not just easy ones?
• Do people feel calmer, clearer, or more capable after talking to me?

If not, don’t panic. But do reflect. Wisdom isn’t just what you intend—it’s how you’re experienced.

Sometimes, the wisest move is to ask for feedback:
“When we’re in the middle of a tough moment—how do I show up for you?”

A Few Powerful Phrases That Carry Wisdom at Work

Just a few thoughtful lines that open space for real conversation.

Here are a few that carry weight:

• “I’m sitting with two truths that feel in tension. Can we talk about that?”
• “There’s a lot we don’t know yet. Let’s name that before we rush to a fix.”
• “That’s a strong reaction—can you help me understand what’s underneath it?”
• “I don’t need to win this—I want to get it right.”
• “What’s the wisest way forward, even if it’s not the easiest?”

Final Thought: Wisdom Is a Choice

Every meeting, every moment—you have a choice. To react or reflect. To defend or explore. To power through or pause.

And the more often you choose the path of wisdom, the more people will trust you, follow you, and seek you out—not just for answers, but for perspective.

So keep showing up. Keep choosing presence over pressure. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just need to show up wise—one phrase, one breath, one choice at a time.