While I was getting worked up at all the stupidity, my colleague always had the same response: “fascinating.”
He had a strange sense of calm, while my head was exploding. I knew he was as deeply invested in the scene as me, and I often wondered– I’ll admit with a bit of envy– what was going on. Finally, I blew “don’t you see how stupid this is? How can you just let this go?”
- 6 VPs spending 3 hours working on fonts and “page turns” for the executive readout while the strategic work crept slowly along
- A leader protecting her career at all costs, including at the expense of her team
- Leaders packaging the results upwards to look one way, downwards to look another, neither of which exposed the reality of the situation
He shared his secret, which I’ve since applied to great gains in my professional and personal life. Begin with fascination.
If you just let yourself get worked up by the stupidity of scenes you think you can’t change, you’ll go crazy. You’ll internalize the stress until it makes you sick or those around you sick of you. But if you approach the stupidity with a sense of wonder: “this is fascinating… why would they, he, she act THAT way or make THAT decision? You slow down long enough to garner a deeper understanding. It leads you to ask better questions. All that negative energy then has some work to do.
You’d be surprised how far a little fascination can go to getting underneath and addressing the root cause of the problem.
Where can you begin with a sense of wonder and fascination?