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How to Make Active Listening Your Go-To Habit

by | Jun 5, 2025 | By Karin Hurt and David Dye

Listen Actively: Because Sometimes the Most Powerful Phrase You Can Say Is… Nothing

In a world full of deadlines, devices, and drive-by updates, deep, active listening has become a rare (and powerful) act. It’s easy to half-hear while scanning Teams, thinking about your next meeting, or mentally composing your grocery list. But when you truly tune in? That’s when the real magic happens.

That’s what the habit of Listen Actively is all about. It’s not just about hearing the words—it’s about being present, picking up what’s not said, and helping people feel seen. And sometimes, it sounds like this:

“And what else?”

Active listening

Just three words. But wow, do they open doors.

What It Means to Actively Listen

This habit means you’re giving your full attention in a conversation, not multitasking, not planning your next sentence, not solving the problem before they finish talking.

You’re listening to understand, not just to respond. You’re noticing tone, energy, and body language. And you’re holding space for what might come next, because the most meaningful thing someone says often comes after the thing they rehearsed in their head.

Why Being a Good Listener Matters

Active listening builds trust faster than any feedback tool ever could.

When you listen like you mean it:

  • People feel respected and heard, which lowers defensiveness and raises collaboration.

  • You uncover deeper insights—because the real issues don’t usually come out in the first five seconds.

  • Conflict becomes easier to navigate—because people stop repeating themselves when they know they’ve been heard.

  • And decisions get better—because they’re grounded in what people actually need, not what we assume they need.

Why Actively Listening Is So Hard

Your brain loves shortcuts. It wants to jump to the fix, the summary, the response. Especially in fast-moving environments, pausing to fully listen can feel inefficient.

But silence isn’t wasted time—it’s where the good stuff surfaces.

Sometimes it’s hard to stay present when someone’s long-winded. Or when you’re sure you already know where they’re going. Or when there’s a shiny notification on your screen calling your name. But when you catch yourself drifting and refocus, you model one of the most generous acts in teamwork: full attention.

How to Make It Happen (Without Staring Like a Statute) Synergy Stack Team Development System

Here are five ways to practice active listening—without feeling stiff or scripted:

  • Use your phrase. When someone finishes talking, pause… then gently ask: “And what else?”
    You’d be amazed how often that’s when the real insight comes out.

  • Give space. Resist the urge to jump in. Let the silence breathe.

  • Reflect what you hear. “It sounds like you’re frustrated because the priorities keep shifting—did I get that right?”

  • Notice emotion, not just facts. Energy dips or rises? That’s data.

  • Put distractions away. Close the laptop. Flip the phone. (Yes, even for five minutes.)

Other Phrases That Keep the Listening Going

  • “Tell me more.”

  • “What’s most important about that to you?”

  • “I want to make sure I understand—can you walk me through that again?”

  • “What’s underneath that for you?”

  • “If you could wave a magic wand, what would change?”

Three Mini-Personal Experiments to Build Listening Chops

  1. The 3-Second Rule: For two weeks, challenge yourself to pause for three full seconds before responding in any conversation. Use that space to breathe, absorb, and then speak.
  2. The “And What Else” Streak: Use your powerful phrase—“And what else?”—at least once in every one-on-one conversation for the next 30 days. Track what surprising insights come up after the second layer.
  3. Daily Focus Window: Pick a 30-minute window each day where you go distraction-free in conversations. No phone. No email. No “just checking Slack.” Notice how people respond when you give them your full bandwidth.

Active listening isn’t passive—it’s one of the most active things you can do for your team. When you slow down and truly tune in, people don’t just talk more—they open up, share more clearly, and collaborate more deeply.

And sometimes, the best way to keep the conversation going is a quiet prompt:
“And what else?”

See Also: You’ve Inherited a Quiet Team, Now What (An Asking for a Friend Video) 

“I’m sorry.”

Ready to build a team that actively listens, shares ideas, and collaborates like pros?
Discover how the SynergyStack™ Team Development System helps your team build habits that stick—like apologizing readily and communicating with confidence.
👉 Explore SynergyStack

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Karin Hurt and David Dye

Karin Hurt and David Dye help human-centered leaders find clarity in uncertainty, drive innovation, and achieve breakthrough results. As CEO and President of Let’s Grow Leaders, they are known for practical tools and leadership development programs that stick. Karin and David are the award-winning authors of five books including, Courageous Cultures: How to Build Teams of Micro-Innovators, Problem Solvers, and Customer Advocates and Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict. A former Verizon Wireless executive, Karin was named to Inc. Magazine’s list of great leadership speakers. David Dye is a former executive and elected official. Karin and David are committed to their philanthropic initiative, Winning Wells – building clean water wells for the people of Cambodia.

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Get the FREE Courageous Cultures E-Book to learn how

7 Practical Ways to be a Bit More Daring

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