When my mom entered the hospice facility this week, the unspoken shared vision was perfectly clear: Reduce Mom’s suffering as much as possible; keep Dad from keeling over with exhaustion; fill the air with constant love; and eek out any joy we can.
The Power of a Shared Vision
I know you’ve had your unfair share of sad times too. No family can escape them. Just like you, we’re muddling through. I wrestled with whether to share my journey, but decided to go there, knowing that much learning comes from our darkest times. And so today, I offer some reflections on the power of vision in times of crises.
Shared Leadership
No doubt, Dad is in charge. But, Jill is a ninja in navigating the medical scene. When it’s time, she gently takes the helm.
Yesterday, Jane (who can run circles around Martha Stewart) ignored our exhausted surrender of “Let’s just get takeout for Easter,” and single-handedly cooked up a storm to make the day feel special. Ben and I took the video camera to their church and made a montage of personalized greetings from dozens of old friends against the backdrop of the choir singing the Hallelujah chorus. Brad took pics. The kids loved her with all their hearts and played as if the circumstances were perfectly normal.
A shared vision inspires people to use their gifts.
Pushing Boundaries
Turns out you can have an Easter Egg hunt in the hospice courtyard. Yes, you can drink Chardonnay out of hospital Dixie cups. (But, no the nurses don’t have a cork screw).
A strong shared vision inspires boundary pushing.
Willingness to Accept Help
When vision trumps ego, you’re willing to get whatever help needed to achieve your goal. Our family full of helpers is learning to say “Yes” to support we believe will make a difference.
A strong shared vision inspires receiving.
Open Communication
When the vision is clear, there’s less wasted communication. Direct, candid openness is key. Everyone needs to know the real deal to make the right decisions.
A strong shared vision inspires truth-speaking.
Willingness to Learn New Skills
We’ve learned the names of the meds and the impact of doses, along with clever ways to accelerate our learning. “That medicine’s easy to remember… you know how your sister needs a new van? I just think of it as add-a-van.”
Whatever works.
A strong shared vision inspires learning.
Like every family, planning and execution is not always this smooth. I’m grateful that our shared vision is overpowering ego, personalities and pride.
It’s a strong reminder that during the toughest times in families, teams, communities or organizations, finding a shared vision is vital.
A strong shared vision makes the tough times easier.
Note: For a practical step-by-step guide to building a team vision see A Step-By-Step Process on Building a Strong Shared Vision
Karin,
I learn a lot from your blogs and it seems they always “hit home” in some way. Thank you! Almost like being able to read a horoscope and find a little bit of a message meant only for me. I have been waiting to hear how you would incorporate your Mom’s strong fight into your leadership pages and have to say that you continue to impress me and offer values I continue to learn from. So happy your family had the opportunity to be together for Easter as a vision is hard to set and maintain – even with social media – if not in person!
First, thank you for sharing with us. I know from all the comments posted here over time, this is a caring online community of very thoughtful people.
I’m sorry for the hard time you are going through. I am confident all of you will come out stronger.
And I feel CERTAIN your mother must be so very proud of you. She’s fortunate to have you in her corner, in a time that really counts.
Please accept my very warm wishes and prayers for you and your family.
Thanks, Bill. I’m so grateful for the support of this tremendous community. My mom is wonderful and has always been there for us and many others. It’s a sign of a well-lived life, when so many people share how their lives have been been touched.
Karin, thank you for your courage through vulnerably sharing your family’s experience. How proud your mom must be!
It is through sharing conversation about the meaning of the vision & what it looks like WRT how people behave & what is created that manifests the vision: our most powerful conversations. When action is required, everyone is then prepared. Our daily time together & our powerful conversations about our shared vision creates our meaning as persons, as a team or family, & as an organization or community. The meaning we make informs our action.
Holding your family and you in the Light…
Paul, Thanks so very much. I appreciate your kind words.
Karin, I’m so very sorry that you and your family are going through this. I haven’t been through it with my Mom or Dad; but, have with my grandparents, a cousin, and a very close friend who died from ovarian cancer. I’m personally thankful that places like hospices exist that can make painful times better. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and pray for peaceful times.
Thanks so much, Joy. Yes, the hospice scene has helped tremendously. We were reluctant to go there, but as it turns out it was much needed.
I am sending you love and hugs Karin at this most difficult time. I love how you wove your family challenges into lessons for all of us to learn.
You are blessed to have such a loving family, especially your mom. She sounds amazing and you certainly take after her. It is interesting that when the chips are down, family members, like team members, can spring into action and perform at their highest levels. Of course that only happens when the families and the teams have meaningful relationships.
You are so courageous to share this with us.
Terri,
Thanks so much. You raise a good point, the foundation of relationships is so important and it’s important to build those during the good times, to be ready for the hard ones.
I’ve seen shared visions pull together sales teams during tough times. That’s when you know you’ve got great leadership. Anyone can do well and look good when the orders are coming in during a bubbling economy. But it’s during those slow quarters when you just don’t know how you’re going to make the number. An inspired shared vision will have everyone wanting to struggle and do whatever it takes to make the goal.
Steve, I so agree. Tough times show what teams are made of.
karen, Thanks for sharing your story with us. You have shown us that families like businesses need a shared vision not only to get them through the tough times but the good times as well. Without a vision we are like a ship without a rudder drifting on a sea of uncertainty. I also agree with Terri that families and teams need good relationships to make the vision work. (Thanks Terri) Karen, I know you and yor family will get through this challenging time but remember all things happen for a reason so look for that “Nugget of Gold” and be thankful that you have a strong family.
Woody, thanks so much. On the lookout for nuggets 😉
Thanks for sharing this with us. It is a reminder to use our character and skills in more than just the professional moments of life–maybe ESPECIALLY in those most important times.
Beth, Thanks so much. I really appreciate all of your support.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I understand this part of the journey as a social worker and a daughter, now. It is painful, important, exhausting and sometimes beautiful work. I send love to you and yours <3
I’m sending you a virtual hug, my dear friend!
Along with some prayers…thank you so much for sharing your sorrows at this time, and with such humor! I love Terri’s comment about the importance of loving relationships at a time like this.
You are an example to all who know you…:-)
LaRae, Thanks so much for all of your love and support. Namaste.
“A shared vision inspires people to use their gifts”
“A strong shared vision inspires boundary pushing.”
“A strong shared vision inspires receiving.”
“A strong shared vision inspires truth-speaking.”
“A strong shared vision inspires learning.”
“A strong shared vision makes the tough times easier.”
– Karin Hurt
I just wanted to pull these summary points out so I could admire them. Just brilliant.
How lucky we are that you had the courage at this time to define and share them. It speaks a great deal about how special you are. Many thanks Karin.
Sending you prayers for your team’s continued strength and fortitude.
Dallas, Thank you so much. That means a great deal. I know you and your family have dealt with more than your fair share over the last year and a half. Glad to be in community with you. Namaste.
Beautiful post, Karin. Highlights the importance of leadership at work and in life. Thanks for your courage and your vulerability in sharing your life with all of us. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Best,
Alli
Alli, Thanks so much. I so appreciate your friendship.
Thank you for making time to share Karin. All your work impacts me, and this is really special.
You are in my thoughts.
My mom shared a wonderful idea with me when I lost someone a few years ago. Our relationship does not end, it goes from “out there” to “in here.”
Thank you.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this story with us. Your words are powerful and appreciated. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
Beyond the personal, the message was good. Thank you for leading us in the time of crisis.