resistance

5 Reasons You're Avoiding Your "I Don't Wanna" List (and what to do about it)

David Dye and I do truly strive to lead by example. So I wasn’t shocked the other day when my Winning Well co-author leveraged a practice straight out of chapter 20, thanking me for something I’d done to promote our Winning Well mission.

And then, hearkening back to chapter 7 (accountability), I laughed and said, “If I were really a good co-author I would have done ________ .” (it really doesn’t matter what this is, as I will here pull a Scarlett Ohara, and be sure to worry about that tomorrow).

David didn’t miss a beat, and said, “Oh I get it. It’s on your ‘I don’t wanna list.'”

Deep pause. It was. The next vital question was, ‘Why? Why was it there? What was the resistance? Why did I agree to do something I was avoiding?

5 Reasons You’re Avoiding Your “I Don’t Wanna” List (and what to do about it).

“The more important a call to action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel about answering it. But to yield to Resistance deforms our spirit. It stunts us and makes us less than we are and were born to be.” – Steven Pressfield

In my experience there are five big  reasons something ends up on our “I Don’t Wanna List.” I’d love to hear what you would add.

  1. It’s a Damn Stupid Idea:  You hate the idea and everything around it. You’re against it at a core values level. The only thing dumber than putting this on your permanent avoid list, would be to actually cave.
    Next Step: Time to person-up. Use your words. Share your feelings. Before you do anything stupid, say what you mean– chances are any stupid idea attracts a swarm of naysayers just ready to buzz. Speak up. Others will follow.
  2. Your Values Say NO!!!! It’s a good idea in theory, but something about your values say “no.”
    Next Step: Listen to your heart… with an open mind. If it’s a real values clash– say so, and then be open to further explaining your rationale or removing yourself from the scene.
  3. You’re Annoyed: But it’s got to be done. We all have tasks that drive us crazy, but sometimes you’ve just got to do them.
    Next Step: Resist the urge to save them all for later. Knock out a few such tasks early in the day while you’re fresh.
  4. You’re Scared: Perhaps you’re afraid of screwing it up. Or maybe you’re worried about what others will think.
    Next Step: Consider what’s the worst thing that could happen. Chances are it’s not as bad as you think.
  5. You’re Stuck: You really don’t know what to do next
    Next Step: Ask yourself the Winning Well secret bonus question, “What would you do if you did know?” Let go of the pressure and brainstorm possible solutions with confidence.

We all have tasks we would rather avoid…. but when you can develop the discipline to know what must be done, and make it happen, you boost your energy and confidence for your Winning Well mission.

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Helping Your Team To Prioritize When Everything Is Important

Helping your team to prioritize their focus and work is one of the toughest roles of a manager. It’s hard because you face similar pressures. You’re still required to meet all your targets and objectives, so teaching your team to place an item on the bottom of the list is scary. What if they really don’t get to it? There are no easy trade-offs in this “AND culture” (we need this AND that) most of live in. Prioritizing and balancing competing priorities are essential elements of the leadership dance. Knowing what to move to the top of the list when, and how to keep the other plates spinning at the same time takes practice. Help your team recognize the common traps that are sabotaging their ability to prioritize well. (Thanks to subscriber Joy Guthrie for today’s art).

Common Prioritization Traps

Perhaps you have some of these characters on your team. Here’s how you can help.

Windshield Watchers

Windshield Watchers look deceptively productive. They’re moving fast and getting a lot done. They’re often the first one to respond to any task because they’re taking the Nike approach to whatever hits their windshield. The adrenaline brings a familiar rush to their day. Windshield Watchers actually attract more urgent work because people know they’ll drop everything and get on it. The biggest problem with the Windshield Watcher is that they have no real basis for prioritization. Urgent always trumps important in such team members, so although they’re getting a lot done, but not necessarily making progress toward bigger goals. Windshield Watchers often struggle with feedback, because they know they’re busier than everyone else. They resent having to talk about it right now, with all the emails coming in that require attention. Help Windshield Watchers by developing a strong calendar-based system and working backwards from deadlines. Teach the art of the urgent/importance matrix.

Wheel Greasers

Wheel greasers hate conflict and are particularly sensitive to pressure from above. They prioritize based on whomever’s screaming the loudest (or with the most “important” voice). Which means, the problem may be hard for you to detect (after all, you appreciate how seriously they take your requests). Wheel Greasers often feel overwhelmed from the stress of trying to please all the people all the time. They feel like they can never do enough, because there’s no objective measure of success. Help Wheel Greasers by helping them define objective criteria on which to prioritize their work. Recognize if they have a tendency to drop other work to do what you need because you’re the boss. Explain and role model how you differentiate noisy requests from urgent issues.

Whack-A-Molers

These well-intentioned folks care deeply about the outcomes. They pour their heart and soul into the most important work. It’s hard to argue with their priorities. The challenge is that in their laser focus they often miss the unintended consequences caused in the aftermath. Sure customer service metrics improve, but financials suffer. Or, the financials look great, but employees are miserable. Help Whack-A-Molers by encouraging them to see the big picture and brainstorm downstream impacts. Encourage them to pilot their ideas before spending significant energy on large scale implementation.

Work Harders

Bless their hearts, work harders will do everything they can to get it all done, no matter how many hours it takes, or how little they’ve slept. The problem with these hard workers is that they often are so busy doing the work, they don’t take time to consider the best way to get it done. They overlook possible support from others or more efficient ways because they’re so lost in the doing. Help Work Harders to step back and consider the best approach to getting work done. Help them build some white space into their day.

Customize Your Coaching

Rather than teaching a generic system of time management or prioritization, consider starting with the tendencies that are getting in the way, and helping each person find more effective approaches. Ask which of these characters they most relate to, and how that works and gets them into trouble. Help Prioritizing copyThanks, LGL community member, Larry Coppenrath for creating a mindmap of today’s post.  Click on the image to enlarge.

Get More Done in Less Time: Learning From Crises

When are you most productive? If you are like most people I know the answer is easy, when you really need to be. Most of us have great examples of crises and other urgent situations, where folks pull together and get more done.

And yet, at other times, lots of stuff seems to get in the way. And we look at each other with the common question, “how can I get more done?”

We Use The Time We Have

 

It’s human nature. When we have time,, we use it.

Most projects take at least the time allotted. Most conference calls finish just-in-time. When is the last time you saw a BAU project expedited–because it was possible?

We know this as Parkinson’s law, work expands to fill the time allotted. Nothing is expedited when things are moving along as planned, because it doesn’t need to be.

What Can We Learn from a Crises?

One the other hand, in a time of crises, the time allotted is zero, so everything is expedited. There is something urgent that must be fixed. Suddenly, the normal protocols disappear and work happens fast.

There’s a lot to be learned about execution from a crises. At times of natural disasters, blackouts, and other unthinkable crises, teams pull together and execute in ways they never thought possible. Creative solutions emerge from seemingly nowhere, “impossible” deadlines are exceeded, and competitors collaborate for the greater good, Organizations and teams execute with an efficiency they never thought possible.

Why? What good can we learn from these undesired times?

Here’s a list of what I’ve seen first hand over the years, and observed and followed in other people’s fantastic stories of execution in a time of crises.

How They Get More Done

  • Everyone becomes energized around a common mission
  • Decisions normally made by committee, are made on the fly
  • People work extraordinary hours, and feel enlivened by their contribution
  • IT and other complex projects that normally require substantial planning are expedited and done in Herculean time frames
  • Communication becomes paramount: people talk frequently
  • Decision makers roll-up their sleeves to help, and the experts rise to positions of power
  • Standard protocols soften, and people support one another
  • Companies collaborate for the greater good
  • No one touches Powerpoint until the post-mortem
  • …???

Of course, we can’t live on an adrenaline rush all the time. And, fast decisions can also have downsides. On the other hand

 

The Secret to Effective Time Management: A Story to Win By

Time management techniques typically involve identifying priorities and scheduling well. There is also power in building in unscheduled time, leaving white space on the calendar for reflection and spontaneous magic.

Adding some white space into your time management strategy can lead to better strategy, creative breakthroughs, and a more poised approach.

And so, I offer a story of time management, great mentoring, and leveraging the white space.

Time Management Lessons From a White Space Sherpa

I had just started my “dream job” straight out of graduate school. Eager to be successful, I got in before the boss, and stayed late to get more done. I had my shiny new Franklin Planner (back in the days of binders and systems), and I proudly scheduled every hour with meaningful activity. I was proud of my time management system and approach to success.

One night, my boss came by my cube (I was secretly glad that he saw me there so late). He just said, “come to my office and bring your planner.”

He took my planner and arbitrarily started crossing out meetings.

I was shocked.

“You need white space. You are not going to be successful without it.”

I argued, “but you can’t cross out THOSE meetings.”

“Fine,” He replied. “Move what you want around, but I want you to come back to me with a calendar that has white space built into every day. Oh, and while you are at it, pick which days you are going to get out of here on time to spend time with your family.”

I did.

When I met with him next, we brainstormed the possibilities for productive things to do in the white space on my calendar. Including “stare at the walls” to get great ideas. He then got on the phone and started calling Vice Presidents.

“I have this promising young leader who you haven’t yet met. She just had some meetings unexpectedly cancelled and is going to be in your neck of the woods next week (news to me). I wonder if she could stop by and get to know you.”

Brilliant.

“See, that’s what you can do with white space,” he smiled.

The truth is, with more “free time” I was actually more productive because I had time to think. Our results were fantastic that year, and his networking strategy built a strong foundation to begin my career.

I believe in white space.

The Danger of Free Time

Today it’s even harder to master the white space game. Even if we manage to carve out unscheduled time as part of our time management strategy, the push and lure of communication from email, text and instant messages, and all the social media can suck us in to less productive activity.

Chris Brogan shared his own struggles with white space in his fantastic newsletter, along with tips for a strategy to address. He encourages us to identify our “go-to triggers” for filling down time (twitter, email, twitter, facebook, twitter), and instead create a more deliberate approach.

His approach to avoiding triggers, and using white space effectively:

Let’s make three lists:

1.) Someday
2.) The Bigger Story
3.) Now

Onto “Someday,” place everything you haven’t touched and that really doesn’t relate to anything in the short-term (because if it did, you’d have completed it already).

Onto, The Bigger Story, list what your REAL big goals are, and what your focus should be.

He then provides more detail on how to manage these lists and effectively use your downtime in your time management strategy.

So, it’s a two-fold mission. First, find and preserve the white space. And next, know which “someday” and “bigger story” goals you want to pursue in that time.

The Most Important One: Tolstoy and Covey on Focus

One of my son’s favorite books is The Three Questions (Based on a Story by Leo Tolstoy).

The story takes a child-friendly adventure through Tolstoy’s famous questions:

Who is the most important one?

What is the right thing to do?

When is the best time to do things?

The main idea– give all of your attention to the present scene and players, and do everything you can to contribute.

The most important one, is the one you are with… and the right thing to do, is what he most needs…. and the best time to do it is now.

“The most necessary man is he with whom you are.”
~Leo Tolstoy

I have been struck by how much these questions resonate with Seb (age 6). When it is just the 2 of us playing or talking, he will stop the action and ask with a big smile, “who is the most important one?” Or, when he wants to do something fun he will remind me, “when is the best time to do things?”

People need undivided attention. They want to be listened to, and really heard. They need to know that they are the most important one– at least in that moment. This is at the core of my values as a leader, and at the same time, it is a constant struggle to put into practice. I don’t have this handled.

It is easy to think we are doing it all– that we’re handling the juggling act with grace, and that were giving folks what they need. There is so much that is urgent, and coming in through so many channels. I am constantly picking up the phone, while on a conference call, and have text messages beeping in. And yet, I try to convince myself that I am “listening” to all 4 conversations: the conference call, the new caller, the urgent texter, and the conflicted conversations in my brain. I am not fooling any of us.

If you are a newer leader who has not yet stumbled on the classic work of Stephen Covey, the great leadership writer, whose life we celebrate this week, I would start there. Covey’s First Things First, has some solid principles that still guide my work today, and is amongst my most frequently gifted books. I also find value in outside practices that help me to clear my brain and let me approach the tougher situations with a bit more clarity: prayer, yoga, and exercise seem to work for me. Many also find deep power in meditation.

Is the “most important one” always the one you are with? Of course not. Sometimes, you must switch gears. But, it is an awfully good place to start.