Avoiding Workplace Conflict is Costing You More Than You Think.
What is avoiding workplace conflict costing you? If your answer is, “Oh not much, we NEVER have conflict… “
Because work shouldn’t be a drag. And YOUR voice matters.
You NEED good conflict to get smarter, more innovative, and to make better decisions.
What you DON’T NEED is the drama and stress of not knowing what to say. Or, the anxiety you feel moments after you’ve said words you regret.
Care-filled words matter. And we’ve spent the last few years researching, crafting, and testing the best ones for you, so you know what to say when work gets wonky.
But before we tell you more about why you should read our new book, Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict, let’s give you an extra dose of courage to have that conversation you would rather avoid.
Avoiding workplace conflict…
1. Wastes time
When we asked participants in our workplace conflict research and courageous leadership programs to reflect on past conflicts, we heard many tales of wasted time. “I wish I had talked about it, or talked about it sooner.”
Time wasted…worrying, avoiding, and restlessly flipping the pillow to the cool side. Meanwhile, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
2. Is exhausting
If you’re like so many people in our research, you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. Change and uncertainty are exhausting. Clarity is the antidote to uncertainty. The best way to align on clear expectations is to talk about them, not engage in magical thinking that everyone “should” know.
3. Destroys relationships
You don’t need to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes you need to channel your inner Elsa and “Let it go.”
But, if you avoid the conversation on the big stuff, you’re not doing your relationship any favors. When you refuse to talk about something that matters, you’re sending a signal that you don’t care enough (or trust the relationship enough) to engage in this conversation.
4. Crushes Innovation
Imagine if every time someone had a new idea, they swallowed it because they were scared of a naysayer. That’s your office avoiding workplace conflict. Without the chance to air and share these ideas, your next big breakthrough might be the one that got away.
Note: If you’ve been following us for a minute, you know we’re all about building cultures where people feel safe and encouraged to share their ideas. Powerful Phrases empowers everyone with the words they need to support your Courageous Culture.
Why You Should Read Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict
Because conflict is hard.
You probably didn’t learn practical, productive approaches to conflict in school. And, if you’re like most of us, you grew up watching role models really screw it up. You’ve had some conflicts not go well yourself, and you don’t like how that feels. We hate that feeling too.
That’s why we wrote Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict. To give you practical communication techniques to successfully navigate conflict at work. And when you do, you’ll get better you’ll get better results, build trust, have more influence, and collaborate better with your coworkers.
For more, watch our recent interview on WTOL11 below.
And now a confession…
When Tim, our publisher, called and said, “Hey, we need a book to help people deal with today’s challenging and complex workplace conflicts. Want to write it?” our first reaction was, “Yeah, sure. Makes sense. We can do that.”
After all, we’ve been traveling the world shoving all brands of “diaper genies” into overhead compartments of planes for nearly a decade. (“Don’t worry, it’s clean,” we always assure the surprised flight attendant.) And we’ve spent many hours walking jet-lagged around the streets the night before a keynote asking, “Hast du einen windeleimer?” or “Yoˇu mài niàobù toˇng de ma?” (Do you have a diaper pail for sale?) 
If you’re not familiar with these stink-containing contraptions, you take a stinky diaper, put it in the genie, give it a twist, and plastic envelops the diaper so tight it doesn’t stink. But, of course, the stink is still there, which you know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of emptying one of those long plastic-wrapped bundles of joy.
We’re big believers that with workplace conflict, if you can’t smell it, you can’t solve it. And while we think these contraptions are a great invention for parents and babies, metaphorical genies can derail your influence and impact and destroy trust. So, “Yes, let’s do it” was our first answer.
But, when we thought more deeply about actually writing the book, we had to ditch our own metaphorical genie and ask ourselves hard questions. How good are we at navigating conflict at work?
Are we really qualified to write this book? As a married couple writing books together and running an international leadership development firm in the turbulence of a global pandemic and beyond, we’re in a constant dance of conflict and collaboration. A few examples from our conversations with one another:
“I know you really want to take on this new strategic project, but that’s not in our plan. I’ve got a ton on my plate right now, and there’s no way I can do all the things.”
“Hey, don’t you realize how much work went into this? How about a bit more appreciation?”
“Don’t tell me it’s a stupid idea! First of all, it’s brilliant. And would you ever talk to anyone on our team that way? Maybe read your own book on Courageous Cultures and respond with regard the next time.”
Of course, in our “workplace,” the stakes of a mismanaged conflict are high. Disagreements and hurt feelings don’t turn off just because it’s time to go to bed.
Like you, we wish workplace conflict was easier.
And so, we said yes. Not because we do conflict perfectly all the time, but because we know how challenging conflict is and how important it is for you to have practical skills and tools to do this well.
The Conflict and Collaboration Resource Center
Okay, so you’ve ordered your copy of Powerful Phrases, don’t forget to get your companion resources! We’ve built a vault of companion resources to help you build more confident, collaborative, creative (and happier) teams.
- Quickly align expectations.
- Establish habits and norms for working through conflicts.
- Train your team on practical approaches, before the going gets hard.
- Talk about your team’s “conflict cocktails” and what you can do about them to make life easier.
We encourage you to use (and share) these resources to support your journey,
When. you love it, will you help us spread the word about Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict?
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