What if our inner voice wants too much affirmation?
What if our inner voice needs excessive feedback?
Can an extraverted inner voice get in the way?
Loud Inner Voices
- Why do some people tell us to stop listening to them before they even start talking?
- Why do we add last-minute self-deprecating remarks into our carefully rehearsed speeches?
- How do we get people to listen to what we most need them to hear?
- How do we sound humble, but confident?
It happens in interviews, presentations, sales calls, athletic events, cattle drives... People pre-apologize for what they are about to say. They tell us not to listen.
- “In my feeble little mind…”
- “I’m certainly not the expert here…”
- “I’m just saying, well… it’s kind of like this… sort-of”
Why Do We Undermine our own credibility at the very time we need it most?
- Under pressure
- Unsure of ourselves
- Trying to appear humble?
- Trying to be funny?
- Unaware of the impact?
Tips For Shaking the “Don’t Listen to Me” Habit
- Become an expert about your subject (feeling truly confident is your best safeguard)
- Plan out your message (write it down)
- Look for opportunities to speak (lots of practice will build confidence)
- Ask for feedback (not from everyone, that also can sound insecure)
- Ask others how they perceived what you said (what direct and indirect messages did they receive)
- Record or video tape your talk (most cell phones have audio recording these days)
- Focus on the behaviors you can use to drive respect (plan your desired behaviors)
- Take a public speaking class (tell your instructor your specific objectives)
- Hire a coach (they can help you practice or help you discover the root cause)
What would you add?
With special thanks to the Organizational Development & Training Forum on LinkedIn, for their insights, and for their recommended resources:
Working Together (free chapter available for download)
I hope others will continue to expand the conversation through their comments and sharing. Do you like Let’s Grow Leaders? Please help spread the word by subscribing, tweeting and sharing.