Your Leadership Promise Might Not Be What You Think
In the age of Twitter and Instagram, you hear so many people talk about “authenticity” – but what does that actually mean for you as a leader? It’s probably not awkward social media posts. Recently I interviewed master-performer, emcee, and keynote speaker, Jason Hewlett, about authenticity. For Jason, authenticity is all about keeping your leadership promise.
Your promise is what makes you uniquely you. Here’s one example:
Maybe you don’t sing – it’s not my thing (though Karin Hurt does), but you definitely have a unique set of characteristics, talents, and values that make you the leader you are when you’re at your best.
For me, it’s teaching. My promise, the part of me that is so authentically me, is that I will invest in people and help them become the best version of themselves. It’s why I do the work I do. When I don’t live up to that best part of myself, I don’t lead well.
Teaching is my leadership promise; what’s yours?
One way Jason suggests you can identify your leadership promise is to think about who you promised yourself you would be when you were early in life. Are there areas where you’ve let that authentic-you hide? If so, it’s a great place to look for your leadership promise.
When you’re wondering how to show up authentically as a leader, think about the commitment you’ve made to your team. You might have made it years ago. Maybe you’ve never said it aloud. Regardless, that’s the authentic you. Own it and you’ll have more influence with your team and positive impact in the world.
Check out Jason’s interview – he’s an incredible example of what it means to keep your promise. Then, I’d love to hear from you – leave a comment and share with us: What is your authentic promise to your team?
My phone rang, “Karin I’ve just been told there’s going to be a restructure and significant downsizing. My team may or not be impacted. I have NO additional information, just that it will be months before all the dust settles.”
Now, if you’ve been following my writing for any period of time you know I’m the poster child for transparency. I believe strongly in telling the truth, avoiding spin, and never making crap up.
But frankly the above scenario is a clear example of TMI. Too Much Information.
It’s too much information, precisely because there was not enough information. All my client received was enough insight to cause stress, uncertainty and disruption.
I see examples of pre-mature disclosure wreaking havoc all the time.
Yes. Transparency goes a long way in building trust.
At the same time, over-disclosure can send your team off the deep-end worrying about all kinds of issues for which they have no control.
If you’re like most managers there are times you didn’t shared enough and your team made crap up, and there are times you said too much and your team freaked out.
Questions to Consider When Deciding How Much To Communicate
Here are a few important questions to consider when determining how much to communicate.
Have I been told the information is proprietary? As long as nothing unethical is going on, when your boss asks you not share, don’t share. If you don’t understand why the information is sensitive, ask. Even those who seem to appreciate your bringing them in to the inner circle, will wonder if they can trust you with sensitive information moving forward.
What is my motive for sharing this information? If it’s to assuage your guilt or to have someone to commiserate in your stress you’re probably getting ready to share too much.
Does my team need this information to make informed decisions?
If you’re team is going down a path that this new information will derail, it’s important to share what you can or to slow them down.
Will having this information make it easier more difficult for the team to do their work effectively? One of your biggest roles as a manager is to remove roadblocks and grease the skids for success, that includes sharing the right amount of information to support the team in doing their work without creating unnecessary distractions.
The Winning Well Tour Continues
This week, the Winning Well tour stopped in CA for the ICMI conference. We would love to speak to your organization or work with your team. Please call me at 443 750 1249 to learn more.
Your team has questions they’re afraid to ask. They’ve got limited information, but they figure if you wanted to tell them you would.
They worry that raising the issue will look like insubordination, or somehow make them look less in your eyes. Maybe you can share, maybe you can’t. But that doesn’t make the questions go away.
If you want to build trust and connection, anticipate the questions on their mind and start the conversation. I’ve been asking around for input into one simple question “What question would you most like to ask your leadership (but are afraid to). And this question is at the heart of my Asking For a Friend Vlog. Here are the top 10. Please add yours.
10 Questions Your Teams Afraid to Ask
Why are we doing it this way?
How’s our company really doing?
Why didn’t you ask us?
Why is _____________ not dealt with?
If I speak up, will it hurt my brand?
Do you think I’m ready for a promotion?
Why is there so much turnover?
How can we get past this feeling of constant crises?
Is this really as urgent as you’re making it out to be?
________________________ (what’s your #10?)
If you want your team to ask more of their scary questions, here are a few ways you can start the conversation.
If I were you, I might be wondering…
The last time something like this happened I had a lot of questions such as __________
I just read this blog post about questions your team’s afraid to ask, and it made me wonder, what questions do you have that I might be able to answer 😉
Ignoring the tough questions doesn’t make them go away. In fact, your team is likely asking the questions, to themselves and to one another. Tackling the tough conversations head on will go a long way in building trust and respect on your team.
How would you answer the question: Do most leaders lead with true authenticity? Sadly, if you’re like my MBA students, the majority of you will likely vote no. You’d share stories of strategic ambiguity, or leaders letting greed and stock price trump once solid values. One student shared, “I honestly think most leaders start out being authentic, but after a while with all the pressures it’s just too hard to maintain.” When everyone’s playing a guarded game, it’s hard to win if you’re the only one playing the vulnerability card. Easier to blend in and go with the flow.
So, what if I changed the question just slightly and asked: Do YOU lead with true authenticity? I imagine the percentages would shift in the favor of yes. But if we’re honest with ourselves, for most of us the true answer is “unless.”
Unless the other guy’s playing games.
Unless I have to salute and tow the company line
Unless we have to make our fourth quarter earnings
Unless the truth will lead to employee disengagement
Unless my boss is around
Most of us don’t get up in the morning looking to fake it. Authenticity breeches are seldom blatant acts of self-betrayal, but more likely minor shades of grey which we convince ourselves (often unconsciously) are okay.
What does it mean to be truly authentic? I’ve been asking that question of everyone I meet lately (my MBA student’s answers are cloud sourced in the pic above). Most definitions involve the word “being:” being genuine, being consistent, being transparent, being trustworthy. Being is such a richer word than doing.
Authenticity stems from who you are which manifests in what you do.
5 Ways to Lead More Authentically
Know Yourself: Be constantly curious about your leadership and the impact you are making, both good and bad. Have a good understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Admit your weaknesses and how you are working to improve on them
Be Yourself : Be true to your leadership values and style. Avoid emulating someone else’s style to fit a certain mold. Strive for integration and consistency of who you are across various contexts (e.g. work, home, church)
Say What’s True: Be trustworthy and honest. Do what you say. Don’t withhold information. Be willing to have the tough conversations.
Commit to the Cause: Be committed to the mission at a deep level. If your heart’s not in it, consider your motives. Doing what’s right trumps any personal agenda.
Connect With Others: Be genuinely interested in other people as humans, not just for what they can do to make your life easier. Make extra effort to connect at a deeper level up, down and sideways.
I’m conducting a quick authenticity poll if you would be willing to join the anonymous research click here.
I’m going to start with a pre-apology. This won’t be my best post, but I always believe in showing up when expected- and transparency. Muck is all part of leadership, pretending it’s easy doesn’t help grow leaders.
I had planned for a productive weekend: A glorious cocktail of preparation for some very important work I am doing on trust with a group of Nigerian higher education leaders this week; a number of proposals and design work (game on); and getting the blog ready for this week in English and Spanish (check out our new Spanish site). Oh yes, and another surprise coming soon for you. And then of course the family fun like watching little league baseball, a birthday party, and some Father’s day celebration. I was hoping to have a brilliant Father’s Day post. If you’re newer here, read this one from my first year of blogging (about my Dad who this year spent his Father’s Day supporting me at the hospital… yup, foreshadowing)
My son, Sebastian, broke his arm and was medi-vaced from one hospital to another to address complications. It’s been a long 24 hours and we’re all exhausted. He will have a full recovery. I am full of thanks to the doctors and nurses who truly care. Sebastian now sleeping, I’ve got a moment to reflect on how important trust is during our most frightening times: From the receptionist at Hopkins ER who took one look at my stressed face and said “the paper work can come later,” to all the doctors with straight talk about “risks and choices” who then shared their honest opinions based on their personal perspective (all with children the same age); To my husband and the rest of my pit crew who executed elegantly. The hospital wing was filled with moms, dads and children all trusting strangers and one another do their very best in situations much more serious than ours. My family got to go home today feeling lucky.
Back to Trust
And so in lieu of my usual fare, I offer up a quote with which I will start my upcoming trust workshop to tee up our week on LGL.
“I believe in trusting men, not only once, but twice. In giving failure another chance.” – James Cash (JC) Penny
As well as the old chinese proverb:
“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me”
When is it time to trust again? When do you stop trusting? How do you know?
The other day I got the kind of feedback that kicks you in the gut and makes your brain hurt for days. I’m sure you know the kind, it stings with truth, but you’ve got a gazillion counter points you would never say out loud, for fear of appearing to not be listening. It’s from an amazing leader who worked on my team for several years, and is a regular reader of LGL.
This is a long one, so for those of you who prefer a musical soundtrack with your pondering, click here.
One area of frustration for me in business is much like my frustration in the collection and recording of history down through time, and that is the winners make the history, it’s from their perspective and rarely is it all-inclusive of the realities of the time. Many leaders go through their career (certainly once they get to a higher level) believing that their station or title in their company validates that their perspective is somehow best, or more insightful. These leaders don’t leverage the best from their people or their organizations, and the idea that they understand how their employees feel is somewhat silly. To me your book represents a leader saying why and how I should relate to them, excuse them, allow for and understand their human nature.
That’s where the disconnect was for me, at what point do leaders really need to understand, and act on how their behaviors, their decisions affect the masses below them? In short I want leaders to improve, have better sight, understand and truly grow about those in their care. I want leaders to see more than market share, and stack ranks. I want leaders to see and appreciate intention, effort and of course results. But more over I want leaders to be real with me, and I want them to strive as hard to understand me as I strive to understand them. In doing this leaders improve the lives and careers of their employees.
Karin I think you are a great leader and I will admit I expect a lot from you, to that end the brilliance I’ve seen in your past writing and have referenced and yes even bragged about to others simply was not here for me. Frankly this seemed safe, when what all leaders really need (throughout their careers) is to be grabbed by the shoulders and shaken from time to time and forced to remember from whence they came, to understand the politics of our world are their making, and thusly they have the power to unmake it. Knowing that leaders in business buy and read this type of book, I feel you have the knowledge and credibility to improve them in their view down their chain of command as opposed to another attempt to give line employees better understanding of how and why their bosses do what they do so they can advance.
The gist of the issue: Hey, whose side are you on here? The imperfect bosses or the people? The short answer is: Yes.
You see, I’ve been running around talking to every podcast, radio station, or media outlet sharing my opinion that your boss is just an imperfect human being doing the best she can, just like you. I’ve been firing people up and empowering them with practical tools and advice for advancing their career, even if their boss is a jerk. I believe strongly that helping people defend themselves against an imperfect system and regaining their power is vital.
And I’ve also seen the other side. I do agree there are leaders who need to be “grabbed by the shoulders and shaken from time to time.” I can’t stand the arrogance and abused power. I hate it when leaders forget about the human beings they’ve been entrusted to support. I worry about a system that over-grooms their leaders and the cycle of intimidation continues. I cringe when leaders are too busy to understand their impact.
The question on the table: Am I cutting the leaders too much slack? The longer answer is: Yes and no.
We’re All Stuck In The Middle of Something
Sure the system is imperfect. People are imperfect. There are good guys and bad guys at every level. I’ve learned a heck of a lot about getting unstuck on both sides of the equation. I must help, and will do everything in my power to help you, them, and the guys in the middle.
We must work together to create the conversation that will build better organizations through meaningful visions, great cultures, and brilliant execution. Such results come from imperfect, inspired people who care for the big picture – at every level.
I’m not ready to pick a side. The best good I can do is right here, stuck in the middle – with you.
Leadership credibility is hard to establish and easy to lose. The sad truth is I’ve seen really good leaders lose the confidence and credibility of their teams by making well-intentioned and innocent mistakes.
5 Subtle Ways To Diminish Your Leadership Credibility
I’m not talking about the big stuff like lack of follow-through or breaking commitments, but the subtle shifts that undermine all the trust you’re working to build. Don’t fall into these traps.
1. Word Choice
Leaders use dramatic words to create a vision and gain attention. That’s good. I’m all for colorful language and exciting words. But leaders lose credibility when the words in play are too big or small for the situation at hand.
I once worked with a leader whose rally cry of the year was, “we’re in the fight of our lives.”
Now, it’s true the competition was fierce, and we needed every brain, heart, and hand actively engaged in the struggle.
The trouble was many in her audience were literally in the fight of their lives in one way or another: the second bone marrow transplant, a dying sister, a son still in Iraq.
I could see these dedicated leaders squirm when she said these words. Sure they knew what she was trying to say, but the words did not inspire the cause.
It works the other way too. Words can be too small. If it’s time to be impressed, be impressed.
Don’t say, a project was okay when you should have said Wow!
2. Too Close, Yet So Far Away
Leaders don’t necessarily need to be able to do the job of the people on their team, but they do need to understand it. I was talking to a sales VP the other day who was in the long-term relationship sales game. He said his boss was asking him to call his prospects every day to follow-up.
Having had this VP sell to me in the past, I can’t imagine a worse approach. Our relationship worked because of deep trust and long-term commitment, nagging would have been an immediate turn-off.
3. Out of Touch
A close cousin to #2, leaders lose credibility when they can’t relate to the personal circumstances of their teams. The other day, I heard a customer service VP on stage talking to a team of call center reps trying to inspire great customer service.
She shared, “if you’ve ever been on a Disney Cruise, that’s the kind of service I need you to provide.”
These reps were worried about putting food on the table and gas in the car. The sentiment was spot on, but she needed another example.
4. All About Me
Executives often take on an almost celebrity persona.
People will ask lots of questions about their background, career path, advice. It’s great to share.
But leaders lose credibility when they talk about themselves without turning the tables and taking a genuine interest in others.
Listen more than you talk. Ask provocative questions. Get to know their background, hopes, and dreams. Provide opportunities for others to share.
5. Strategic Ambiguity
Of course, some strategy and information is confidential. If you can’t share, say that.
But masking the truth with spin, far-fetched positioning, and other bologna will diminish your credibility fast. People will see through it and wonder what else, you’re not saying.
You’re working too hard to build credibility with your team and organization to throw it away with a sloppy mistake. Pay attention to these potential derailers. Get others involved, sometimes they’re too subtle to see from where you sit.
Looking to gain more leadership credibility and build trust and connection with your team?
Are you looking for training and leadership development to take your organization to the next level? We can help. Give us a call at 443/750-1249 or reach out to us at email@example.com to learn more.
I texted my colleague: “do you think we both need to attend the 3pm meeting?” He quickly shot back: “Karin, I don’t think anyone needs to go to that meeting. Don’t worry, I’ll represent both of us.”
And there we were two executives, not speaking up in the spirit of being politically correct, and covering for one another to minimize the pain. After all, we had real work to do.
Sometimes, apparently, I’m also the instigator of such meetings. I attended a meeting the other day and every person in the room was on their iPad working except the speaker and I. I stopped the meeting and questioned what appeared to be very rude behavior.
As I soon uncovered, the rest of the participants had held a dry run of the meeting the day before I arrived in town. Since I was the boss they wanted to practice. This entire meeting had turned into a read-out for me. Those meetings should have been consolidated, or the second meeting should have been cancelled: “Karin, we’ve got this.” Or at least become a one-on-one.
They did have this and didn’t need me. Pre-meetings are often a sign of wasted time. Invest in knowing how much your team is preparing to meet with you. Even if you think you’re low maintenance.
Despite my best efforts to change-up the meetings under my influence, I sometimes succumb, keep my mouth shut, and attend my fair share of time-wasters. That’s why when I received this note from a subscriber, I promised to write a blog response and schedule it up next.
I’ll offer my best thinking and hand it over to the LGL village for additional suggestions:
“I just read your recent post, 5 Ways You’re Sabotaging Teamwork, and was personally touched when you started talking about misuse of staff meetings. It seems all I do is have read-out staff meetings and my staff hates them. But, I like it because the team is together as a whole and they learn what each other is working on and it does stimulate great conversation. However, they still hate them and, honestly, I hate them too. I would love to hear your perspective on how to have high-energy staff meetings. What are my alternatives? What can I do to achieve my goal of getting my 12 member team together weekly but not be a boring mess?
Make Your Meetings More Productive
Cancel The Meeting & Create White Space – Pick one afternoon a week or a month that no one can talk to each other. Or take a regularly scheduled meeting, and just cancel it. See what happens over time. See how work gets done. See Jason Fried’s TED Talk: Why Work Doesn’t Happen at Work.
Make Each Meeting Unique – Even if you hold a regular weekly meeting, have a clearly defined purpose for each meeting that you articulate in advance. For example, by the end of this meeting we will:
identify the most important pages for our website
review our declining customer service trends and brainstorm 3 key actions to take this month
identify the theme and breakouts for our next symposium
If your answer is read-out on results and progress on action plans cancel the meeting, and find another way.
Ins-and-outs – Decide who needs to be there for which part of the meeting and then design the agenda accordingly. My weekly staff meetings always have a narrowing effect. We started with the larger group and narrowed as the topics move along. I make it clear that this is not to exclude, but a time-saving exercise.
Stand-up Or Walk Among Yourselves – I’ll admit, when results go down, I intervene more. I’m a big believer in the stand-up huddle. Almost like a time-out check in for the day (or week). I think a big problem with meetings as we see them as sit on your butt occasions. Some of the best meetings start with “got a sec?” Try to emulate that feeling as much as possible. As Nilofer Merchant shares in her TED Talk: Fresh Air Drives Fresh Thinking.
Make them think – I love the idea of Idea Tickets from Michael Michalko: “In advance of a meeting, frame a problem or issue to address. Ask each person to bring, at least, one new idea or suggestion about the problem as their ticket of admission to the meeting. Have the people write their ideas on index cards and collect them at the door. No one gets in without a ticket. Start the meeting by reading everyone’s contribution.”
PS: Tune in on Monday and we’ll talk about the most challenging kind of meetings: skip level meetings.
No one “forgets” their cancer diagnosis, their sick mother, their midterm exams, their custody battle, their abusive relationship. And yet, one of the most frequently uttered phrases in call centers is to instruct reps to “leave their home burdens at home, they won’t help you serve our customers.”
I get it, but I refuse to say it. The truth is, I don’t believe life works that way. Asking employees to “forget” that they’re a human being with burdens and fears does not help them to be more productive.
Sure, no one calls into a call center to hear someone else’s troubles, and we certainly don’t want suffering translating to bad moods and nasty service. But real connection between leaders and employees (burdens and all) creates richer relationships and yes, better productivity.
I don’t know anyone who’s successfully shoved their burdens down indefinitely and showed up brilliant, energized, and ready to connect full-on.
What If You Could See Their Burdens?
“Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
(maybe… see other options)
My sister, a Speech Pathologist and Director of Rehab in a hospital, uses this short video to reinforce empathy with staff, Empathy, The Human Connection to Patient Care. Anyone who’s ever walked down a hospital hallway with their burdens can relate.
The truth is, this story exists across every organization, in every hallway and in every meeting. If your team members wore their burdens on their sleeves what would they say?
What’s the cost of not knowing your team members burdens?
How can you understand your employees, without understanding what weighs most heavy in their hearts?
What opportunities do you have for a bit more connection and kindness?
Team members may push their concerns down for a minute, but human beings need connection. Sure there’s HR and great Employee Assistance Programs (EAP),” those are necessary, but not sufficient. I’m not suggesting creating co-dependency or assuming parenting roles, just a bit deeper level of listening, empathy, and connected-solutions.
The best opportunity for real connection starts at the team leader level. Begin with connection and understanding, then bring in reinforcements as needed.
He was the poster-child for passive aggressive (at least that’s my side of the story). In an effort to keep the peace, I’d tried to shake it off. I’d kept my mouth shut, and encouraged my team to take the “high road.”.But the high road was getting bumpier with time.
I realized I needed to take a bit of my own advice; but frankly, I was worried about the political ramifications.
And then the best kind of truth-telling realization. What kind of role model am I if I advocate for ditching the diaper genie, only when it feels safe? I had to address the scene.
I had to address the scene.
I confronted Mr. Passive Aggressive. I shared my concern about the tenor of his emails, the endless digging for problems, the data sent over my head without a chance to review… Calmly, carefully, but truthfully. And held my breath. My truth.
We connected and he responded. Of course, he didn’t MEAN to come across that way, after all, he’s just trying to help. We’re all in this together. His truth.
There was my window: “I would LOVE your help…THIS is what would be most helpful”. We spent over an hour discussing our common concerns and joint goals. We got specific on what matters most and how we could help one another. Our truth.
Then he shared with surprising candor, “But I have to say. I can’t change the way I communicate. My emails are not intended to be aggressive, I just get really fired up. This is how I communicate with everyone.” His truth.
Somehow that statement also felt like progress.
I responded, “Thank you for letting me know so I’ll be prepared. Here’s what I can assure you, I will never send you an email with that tone.” My truth.
You guessed it. The tone has improved. All the other support we discussed is playing out. The business is better off. We’re both in a better place.
When we respond by being passive, we quietly encourage continued aggression.
6 Ways to Deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior at Work
Ditch the Diaper Genie– I’ll never know if he was really “just trying to help” or if there was an ulterior motive. I’ve decided that just doesn’t matter. When your gut tells you somethings wrong, something’s wrong, even if it’s just a miscommunication. Truth speaking encourages a truthful response, even if it’s not something we want to hear. Better to get it all out in the open.
Listen to Understand- Somethings going on underneath that wacky behavior. Do your best to understand the person and their scene. Get to know them as a fellow human being. Give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re doing the best they can.
Take the High Road – Taking the high road has nothing to do with rolling over or shutting down. It’s about not emulating the passive aggressive behavior. Resist the urge the fight fire with fire, or take the offensive. Stay true to your leadership values and role model what must be done.
Stay Calm – Responding in an emotional way will only bring on the passive response, leaving you looking like (and feeling like) the fool. Nothing’s more intimidating to someone trying to manipulate you then a calm, clear-headed, overview of the situation.
Be Specific – Avoid speaking in general terms. Track specific behaviors that feel wrong to have as examples as needed. It’s hard to argue with the facts
Ask For What You Need – It’s hard for someone to work against you after they’ve agreed to help you. Resist the urge for lofty platitudes like “I really need your help.” Or, “I need your commitment to work as a team.” Instead said, I could really use your help with addressing X issue at the meeting on Tuesday.
Strong leaders stand up to passive aggressive behavior, model healthy communication–for you and for your team.
Welcome to Mean It Madness Month on Let’s Grow Leaders. My sister, Jill Herr, works is a healthcare executive and speech pathologist, my nephew, Jared Herr (middle school) and son, Ben Evans (college), are active student leaders.
We’re all disturbed by a pattern we see across many contexts. The severe consequences of people not saying what they mean: damaged relationships, disrupted trust, missed opportunities, wasted time, frustration. So, we’ve joined forces to present Mean it Madness on Let’s Grow Leaders. We’re on a mission to encourage more sincere conversations.
Click here to tell us how a meaningful conversation has change your perspective, your relationship, or your life. We’re looking to hear your stories of when saying what you really meant, made all the difference.
How Do We Encourage More Meaningful Conversations?
Share your story on a particularly meaningful experience, where saying what you mean made all the difference. If you know people with stories or passion around this topic, please pass this along. We want to cast as broad a net as possible. If you have #meanit ideas, or see great examples of sincere leading and living, tweet it out with #meanit. If you’ve got something to say, why not send me a short video clip with your ideas?
Bloggers, another opportunity to share your views on sincerity is to contribute to the March Frontline Festival. Click on the link for more information and to submit your post If you write other related posts this month, I encourage you to email them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org (don’t use the form for that). I’ll work to share it under our #meanit campaign.
“But how do you KNOW our BPO vendors will follow-through, if we don’t put it in the contract?” I looked at my COO assuredly, “because they told me they would.”
“But what if they DON’T?, my boss continued.
“If they don’t do what they say, we’ve got much bigger problems than this metric. That would be a breach of our trusted partnership we’ve worked so hard to build over the last 2 years.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for writing great contracts. Over the last few years, I’ve learned the intricacies of this fine art and always start with a great contract– focused on incenting what matters most.
But I also know the minute you have to refer to the contract explicitlyk, you’re in trouble.
To achieve results create deeply connected, transparent, mutually beneficial relationships.
“If your company is serious about increasing trustworthiness, consider engaging all of your stakeholders in rich thoughtful conversations. Don’t approach them as constituencies to be maneuvered, managed or massaged. Instead, view them as vital contributors to a better organization by letting them into the conversation. To be a thoughtful company with a thoughtful strategy, trust for stakeholders must be thoughtful.”
When I spoke with Barbara she shared that leadership is “tough to measure.” But leadership and relationships will make or break a company’s success. Trust translates to contracts, winning the deal and new business.
As leader of a Strategic Partnership Channel (formerly known as the vendor management organization) I offer big, un-written, and un-articulated rules that work best in our strategic partnerships. These norms apply to both sides of the relationship. I start and end relationships based on trust.
12 Keys to Trusted Strategic Partnerships
Really understand one another’s business
Invest in connecting as human beings beyond the business role
Know how you each make money
Tell the truth (even when it’s awkward, embarrassing, or could cost you business)
Don’t commit to more than you can do well (repeat this one 3 times)
Don’t play games… EVER
Don’t wine and dine… the best deals are done over chopsticks or a long walk
Lose some battles, admit when you’re wrong
Let logic prevail, even when contracts are on “your side”
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Reward trusted partnerships with more business/effort
This list applies to business partnerships and just about any partnership you can think of. Please share your views.