You Care. Your Boss Doesn’t (Or So It Seems). What to Do Next With a Disengaged Boss
You’re giving it your all. You’re solving problems, driving results, making things happen. But your boss? They’re off in another world. It could be your boss is disengaged. Or, maybe they are super engaged, just not on your MITs (most important things).
Maybe they’re laser-focused on a massive restructuring. Or, they’re drowning in budget meetings. It could be they’re obsessed with their passion project (which, unfortunately, has nothing to do with yours).
Meanwhile, you’re left thinking: Hello? Do you even know what I do around here?
I get it. I’ve been there. And while it’s frustrating to feel overlooked, you have more control than you think. Your work matters—even if your boss isn’t paying attention yet. The trick? Helping them see it.
Let’s talk about how.
Step 1: Figure Out What’s Running Laps in Your Bosses’ Brain
Your boss is busy. But what exactly are they busy thinking about? What’s running through their mind when they stare at the ceiling at 2 AM?
- Budget woes? They’re mentally tallying how much money they need to save before the next quarterly review.
- Performance pressure? They’re wondering how to keep their boss happy and avoid getting grilled in the next exec meeting.
- Big, scary change? They’re strategizing how to roll out a major company shift without sparking a mutiny.
- Office coffee drama? Okay, maybe not—unless caffeine supply issues are threatening workplace morale.
The key is aligning your work with their worries. If you can position what you do as a solution to their biggest stressors, you’ll go from “nice-to-have” to “critical asset.”
See Also: The Manager Squeeze: How the New Workplace is Testing Team Leaders
Step 2: Help Them See Your Genius (Without a Neon Sign)
Your work is valuable. But if your boss isn’t naturally tuned in, you’ll need to showcase it—without sounding like you’re bragging. Here’s how:
If they don’t define “great work,” you might be aiming at a moving target. Get clarity now, so that when the time comes for performance reviews, you know you’re aligned.
🔹 Define What Success Looks Like Together
If they don’t define “great work,” you might be aiming at a moving target. Get clarity now, so that when the time comes for performance reviews, you know you’re aligned.
👉 Try this:
“What would an extraordinary year look like for my role?”
This makes them reflect on your work and gives you insight into what’s at the top of their minds.
🔹 Give Them the Soundbite, Not the Saga
A disengaged boss doesn’t have time (or patience) to sift through long-winded reports. When you update them, be crisp, clear, and results-focused.
👉 Try this:
“I’ve been working on [insert key project], and I know how important this is to [company priority]. Can we use 10 minutes in an upcoming staff meeting so I can update the team?”
More here: Managing Up: Turning Information into Influence with Your Boss
🔹 Make It Easy for Your Disengaged Boss to Brag About You
Sometimes, your boss does appreciate your work—they just don’t think to mention it. So, help them out. Give them something they can easily repeat in meetings with their higher-ups.
👉 Try this:
“What do you see as the top three strengths I bring to the team? How do you think I could use them to contribute more?”
Not only does this reinforce what you’re doing well, but it also gives them talking points to highlight your value.
Step 3: Find Your Champions
If your boss isn’t your biggest advocate right now, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Build relationships with mentors, sponsors, and peers who do see your value. When decision-makers hear about your impact from others, it carries even more weight.
👉 Try this:
“With all the remote work in the last few years, I suspect we’re missing opportunities to really know one another’s strengths. Can I organize time in an upcoming meeting for us to share how we contribute best to the team?”
This gets you in front of the right people while fostering team connection. Win-win.
See Also: Tips for Improving Your Relationship with Your Chily Boss
Take Back Your Power
Yes, your boss should be paying more attention. But whether they do or not, you have the ability to get the support, recognition, and career growth you deserve. Keep showing up, advocating for your work, and building the right relationships.
And if you need more help? Chapter 23 of “Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict” is packed with even more ways to get noticed and respected—without the drama.
Now, over to you—how have you handled a disengaged boss? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
Looking for more practical human-centered career and leadership advice? You can also follow my Asking for a Friend Show (new episodes released each Wednesday) by connecting on LinkedIn or YouTube.
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