Powerful Phrases to Help With Team Conflict
What do you do when YOUR TEAM is in conflict? They’re coming to you, wound up, riled up, wanting YOU to solve THEIR team conflict for them…
You might even think, “If I wanted this kind of drama, I would have taught kindergarten.”
So what DO you do?
First, if you’re just now tuning into our Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict series, let me explain the G.O.A.T. in this video.
The G.O.A.T.s are the Greatest of All Time Powerful Phrases from our new book, Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict (we have 12 of them, not to mention the 300 phrases for your next ACE– Acute Conflict Emergency).
Now back to you, and your team conflict.
Powerful Phrases to Gather Information
Start by gathering information.
“What do you want me to know?” (connection)
We learned this from trial attorney, Heather Hansen (one of our expert insight contributors). It’s a fantastic question to help draw out what is most meaningful to the person who brought you the issue.
“How might I help here?” (connection)
The power of this question is that it quickly reveals whether the other person just wants to vent or has a real problem. It also helps you understand how they perceive the problem.
“Should the three or more of us talk together?” (connection)
This question is helpful in those situations where you suspect their focus is something other than solving the problem (Like undermining a colleague or kissing you to you). For people who complain and want to dump their problems on you, it helps maintain mutual responsibility.
After you ask these three questions, you will probably have enough information to diagnose the situation.
Here are the most common types of team conflict.
- The person just needs to vent and get frustration off their chest
- There’s a misunderstanding
- One party is unresponsive or sees priorities differently
- People are working toward different goals
- There’s a style or personality conflict
- You discover toxic behavior
“What I’m hearing is… What have I missed? And, what would you add?” (clarity)
This is another check for understanding to summarize what you’ve heard and ensure you heard everyone’s voice. Now it’s time to respond.
Powerful Phrases to Support Your Team in Conflict
“That sounds ______(insert emotion). Is there something I can do to help?”(Curiosity)
If the person needs to vent, use a second reflect-to-connect and check to see if there’s something else they need that will help them feel heard and get them back to their work.
“We are approaching this with different values and styles. Let’s see what we can learn from one another and build a way forward.” (Commitment)
Many team conflicts come from different perspectives, values, personalities, and styles. When your team has different values or methods that cause conflicts, it’s a valuable opportunity to learn how to communicate and leverage one another’s perspectives.
You can facilitate this conversation yourself or bring a third party to help your team learn how to navigate these differences and build remarkable results (Here are many instruments to use depending on your needs– examples include MBTI, DiSC, Enneagram, and TKI Conflict Mode Assessment. (Note: you can watch our interview with Ralph Kilman founder of the TKI here).
For this scenario, the most important focus is to have a discussion.
Team conflict can be productive– and certainly shouldn’t consume you with other people’s drama. You will energize your team and maintain productivity when you acknowledge their emotions, ask key questions, create an appropriate path forward, and (always!) use GOAT #12 to schedule the finish and ensure everyone follows through.
See Also: Why Agree to Disagree Stinks (and What to Say Instead)
0 Comments