Your clueless boss or team are opportunities to lead and transform confusion into collaboration
You’ve been there. That moment when the conversation derails, the logic seems obvious to you, but your seemingly clueless boss or team just stares back—or worse, keeps plowing forward. You’re left muttering under your breath, “Don’t they get it?”
Here’s the thing: nine times out of ten, the answer is no. They don’t get it.
And that gap, the communication breakdown, isn’t a dead end. It’s an invitation to lead.
Turning “They Don’t Get It” Into Opportunity
You might assume the worst: They know, and they just don’t care. Sometimes that’s true, but far more often they really don’t have the full picture.
Maybe they don’t see the consequences. Maybe they’re working from a different assumptions or values. They’re in their own swirl of stress and frustration, and don’t realize what you could bring to the conversation.
The opportunity here is twofold:
First, to better understand their perspective (you might discover a strategic insight you hadn’t considered).
And second, to help them understand yours (because your insights are the missing puzzle pieces that could complete their view).
The choice is yours: spiral into frustration—or step into leadership.
What to Do When Your Clueless Boss Can’t See What’s Obvious to You
Imagine this: a senior leader shifts a process without input from your team. It feels like they just dropped a boulder into your already overflowing bucket.
The easy (but harder in the long run) path? Stay quiet, soldier on, and let your resentment grow until you explode or walk away.
The better path? Start the conversation.
Here are some specific phrases you can use:
“As we incorporate this change, here are the tradeoffs I see. We could adjust our KPIs for the next few weeks, add more resources, or work extra hours. Which option makes the most sense to you?”
“I care about making this work and want to be sure we’re sustainable. Can we talk through what success would look like without burning people out?”
Or here’s one that one of our clients, let’s call her “Jane,” recently used with her Chief Operating Officer: “You made this massive process change without including me, and now it’s going to take weeks longer to implement. If you’ll bring me in on the decision itself, I can help us get there faster.”
That conversation went well, and the next time the C.O.O. had a major change in mind, she invited Jane to the discussion.
Silence solves nothing. Your job isn’t to complain—it’s to give leaders the data they don’t have and frame choices clearly. That’s real influence.
What to Do When Your Team Doesn’t Get It
Flip the scenario. Maybe it’s your team that doesn’t “get it.” They’re dragging their feet, rolling their eyes, or half-heartedly doing the work.
Often the missing piece is the “why.” Somewhere between your senior leader’s office and the front line, the “why” got lost and all that reached them was the “what.”
This is your opportunity to lead.
- Clarify the purpose. “Here’s why this matters to our customers and our future success.”
- Check for understanding. “What are you hearing me say—and how does that land for you?”
- Diagnose credibility gaps. Ask “What have I missed? What’s the part where you feel like I ‘just don’t get it’?”
- Diagnose capability gaps. Sometimes, the why isn’t the issue. When everyone’s aligned and gets it, but performance isn’t there, they may need more training, encouragement, or accountability.
When you reconnect people to meaning, momentum follows.
For Senior Leaders and Skip-Levels
When you’re leading multiple layers down, beware the dilution effect. Your managers may have understood part of the “why” but rushed to cascade the “what.” By the time it hits the front line, people are working without purpose.
Check for understanding with your skip-levels:
- “What’s your understanding of this change?”
- “What does it mean for you at your level?”
- “What questions are you hearing from your team?”
And when you find gaps, gently fill them in. Reinforce the importance of communicating not just tasks but also context and meaning.
Your Clueless Boss (or Team) are Your Call to Leadership
Every time you ask, “Don’t they get it?” you stand at a crossroads.
You can stew in frustration, or you can step up and lead. That means clarifying the why, voicing tradeoffs, and creating space for actual conversation.
Leadership isn’t quiet compliance. It’s courageous communication: advocating for your team, your customers, and your shared success.
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