Avoid these common performance management mistakes to get all the HR help you need
You care about your team. You want to be a leader who supports performance, builds trust, and gets results. So when you’re managing a performance issue, it makes sense to partner with Human Resources. And you should. But here’s the thing: too often, we see well-meaning managers unintentionally sabotage that partnership through avoidable performance management mistakes. And when you do, you don’t just frustrate your HR partner—you weaken your credibility as a leader.
Don’t Make These 3 Common Performance Management Mistakes
Here are three common mistakes managers make when working with HR on performance management, followed by what to do instead.
1. Asking HR to Do Your Work for You
You notice one of your employees has been coming in late. Or taking extended breaks. Or snapping at teammates. You’re frustrated, but instead of addressing the issue directly, you call HR.
“Can you talk to them?” you ask.
No. That’s not their job—it’s yours.
Here’s the truth: your HR partner wasn’t in the room when the employee made that comment. They didn’t witness the pattern. And they don’t have the daily relationship with the employee that you do.
When you delegate this kind of feedback to HR, you miss an opportunity to build trust, coach performance, and lead. And it almost always backfires. The employee either doesn’t take it seriously, or worse, they feel blindsided and confused. “Why didn’t my manager just talk to me?”
Your team is watching how you lead—especially in the tough moments. Be the kind of leader who addresses issues with clarity and compassion, not one who hides behind HR.
2. Going to HR Too Late
This is by far the most common of the HR-related performance management mistakes we see—and HR leaders tell us it’s their #1 frustration with managers.
It starts with a low-level issue. Maybe an employee misses deadlines. Or their work has slipped. Or their attitude has started to drag down the team. You notice it. You feel it. And maybe you even drop a few hints.
But you don’t have the conversation. Not yet.
Then weeks go by. Maybe months. Sometimes years. And suddenly, it’s the last straw. You walk into HR and say: “We need to fire this person.”
Your HR partner leans forward and asks, “What documentation do you have?”
You pause. “Well, I’ve talked to them a few times.”
“Have you written anything down? Were we involved?”
You shake your head.
Now you’re frustrated. “Why won’t HR help?”
Here’s the problem: HR can’t help if you bring them in too late. If you haven’t documented the conversations—or even had them—it puts HR in a difficult position. You’re asking for an ultimate consequence without a fair and consistent process that leads up to it.
Your job as a leader is to address performance issues early and directly—and bring in HR while there’s still time to make things better.
3. Using HR as a Threat
“If you don’t fix this, I’m going to HR.”
Sound familiar?
We hope not—but we’ve heard it more times than we’d like. When you threaten HR involvement as a way to scare someone into performing, you do two things at once:
- You erode your own leadership authority.
- You position HR as the enemy.
HR is not the boogeyman. They’re not a shadowy figure waiting to pounce on poor performers. They’re your partner. And they’re there to support everyone—you and your employees.
When you use HR as a weapon, your team learns to fear them. And they stop trusting you.
Performance problems require clarity, consistency, and care. Fear might spark short-term compliance, but it never builds long-term commitment. Influence requires trust.
What to Do Instead of These Performance Management Mistakes
If you want to lead performance well—and use your HR partner wisely—here’s what we recommend:
Use the INSPIRE Method
When you need to address a performance issue, don’t wait. Have a conversation as close as possible to when the issue happens. Use the INSPIRE method to guide a focused, caring conversation. You can find a full explanation of these performance management conversation frameworks here.
- Initiate the conversation starting with your intent and commitment to their success
- Notice observable behaviors
- Support with relevant specific examples or data
- Probe for their perspective and experience
- Invite their solutions (you clarify what and why, then invite their how)
- Review with a check for understanding about their plan
- Enforce by scheduling the finish to discuss progress in one or two weeks
This keeps the conversation grounded, forward-looking, and professional.
Escalate with the ART Method
If you’ve had the same conversation repeatedly and the behavior isn’t changing, it’s time to escalate. Use the ART method:
- Action: this is the first time or two (I noticed you were late).
- Repetition: this is the third time you have to address the behavior in a short interval (I’m noticing a pattern).
- Trust: this is the fourth conversation, when they haven’t kept their word. You address the effect on your trust and next steps.
This frames the issue as more than just performance—it’s about reliability and credibility.
Engage HR as a Partner—Not a Shortcut
When a pattern continues, or when a trust violation occurs, you can easily avoid the most common performance management mistakes by reaching out to HR. But do it the right way. Don’t say, “Here, you fix it.” Instead, ask:
- “Here’s what I’ve seen and said. What would you recommend?”
- “Would it help to have you present for this conversation?”
- “Is this the right time to move to a formal plan?”
Your HR partner brings essential knowledge—legal, procedural, and strategic. But they can’t use any of it if you keep them in the dark or put them in the middle.
Great leadership isn’t about avoiding hard conversations. It’s about having them—early, consistently, and with care.
When you do your part, HR can do theirs. And together, you can support your team members to rise—or help them transition out with dignity. Either way, when you avoid these common performance management mistakes, you lead with integrity.
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