When you must communicate difficult decisions, don’t cast blame. Connect and give your team a way forward.
Your manager just asked you to cascade a decision you didn’t make—and if you’re being honest, wouldn’t have made. It’s unpopular. It might even feel unfair. And yet, your team’s eyes are on you. How do you communicate unpopular, challenging, or difficult decisions without losing your team’s trust?
This is one of the most important leadership moments you’ll face.
You can either step up, build trust, and re-empower your team. Or, you can pass the buck, add fuel to their frustration, and damage your influence.
We’ve been there. And we’ve coached thousands of managers who’ve had to say, “No, we’re not backfilling that role,” or “Yes, the return-to-office policy is happening.” These moments are make-or-break opportunities for you. The best leaders don’t just “make an announcement.” They lead by communicating through the lens of collaboration.
Let’s walk through what that looks like—and just as importantly, what to avoid.
First, What Not to Do
Before you say anything, resist the temptation to throw upper management under the bus.
You might feel frustrated too. You might disagree with the decision. But saying things like, “This wasn’t my call,” or “I don’t know why they made this decision either” or worse, “I guess we have to do what those idiots decided” will destroy your credibility.
It may feel like solidarity at the moment, but when you pass responsibility this way, you paint yourself as a victim, lose credibility and breed resentment.
When you distance yourself from a decision, your team distances themselves from you.
They stop seeing you as a leader and start seeing you as a powerless messenger. If you want influence, you must own your role—even when it’s hard.
4 Steps to Communicate Difficult Decisions
Let’s take a real-life scenario. Say your company just announced that all hybrid employees must return to the office three days a week. Your team loved the flexibility, but now you have to announce something they won’t like.
So how do you do it without crushing engagement?
You lead through Connection, Clarity, Curiosity, and Commitment.
1. Connection: Acknowledge the Emotional Reality
When people feel upset, trying to jump straight to the decision is a losing struggle. You come across as disconnected. Start by getting real and being human.
Powerful phrases to use:
- “I know this isn’t the decision we would have made as a team.”
- “You might be feeling frustrated, disappointed, or even confused.”
When you acknowledge emotions without rushing to fix them, you build psychological safety. You’re saying: I see you, I get it, and I still believe we can move forward.
2. Clarity: Explain the Why—Even if You Had to Ask for It
This is where many managers fall short when they have to communicate difficult decisions. They deliver the news without explaining the purpose behind it. Often, because they don’t know themselves.
If you don’t understand the “why” behind the decision, take time to ask your manager.
Instead of saying “why do we have to do this,” which risks coming across as combative, try this:
“I want to make sure we’re achieving the full purpose here. Can you help me understand the goal and what a successful outcome of this decision will do?”
Knowing what a successful outcome achieves also gives you the opportunity to work with your team, get creative, and find other ways to achieve that goal.
For example, if the company’s goal for three days in the office is to create more on-site collaboration and give everyone face-time and recognition with leaders, you can bring those reasons to your team and work to ensure they happen.
When you come back to your team, you can say:
- “Here’s why this decision was made…”
- “Our responsibility as a team is to [achieve the desired outcome]…”
Clarity doesn’t mean over-promising. It means helping your team understand how this fits into the bigger picture.
Even if the decision still stings, people are more likely to get on board if they understand the rationale. They may even have ideas about how to achieve the bigger purpose.
3. Curiosity: Invite Them Into the “How”
When the team hears a decision that didn’t go their way, they feel disempowered. This is a critical moment for you to re-empower your team by helping them own their next steps.
Re-empower your team by asking how they want to move forward, how they want to show up, and what they need to do it well.
Powerful phrases to use:
- “How can we do this to the best of our ability? In a way that will make us proud?”
- “What’s one thing we can do together to make this easier?”
You’d be amazed what happens when people feel like they have a say in the “how,” even if the “what” didn’t go their way.
4. Commitment: Move Toward Specific Action
Once you’ve talked it through, move to action and turn the discussion into tangible momentum.
Powerful phrases to use:
- “Here are our specific next steps…”
- “Let’s get together on [date] to see how we’re doing with this.”
This isn’t just about accountability. It’s about signaling: We’re still in this. I’m still leading. And I’m walking with you.
Your Turn
You’ll likely have to communicate difficult decisions like this again soon. Maybe even this week.
When you do, don’t just deliver a message—lead through it.
Use the four dimensions of collaboration to keep your team engaged and empowered:
- Connection: “I know this isn’t the decision we might have made…”
- Clarity: “Here’s why this decision was made… Our responsibility is to…”
- Curiosity: “How can we do this in a way we’ll be proud of?”
- Commitment: “Here are our next steps. Let’s check in on [date].”
You can do this—even if you don’t love the message. Your words matter. Your presence matters more.
And if you found this framework helpful, share this article with a colleague who could use the support. Tough conversations go better when we all show up with courage, compassion, and clarity.
You might also like:
- 4 Powerful Leadership Moves that Transform Resistance to Change
- Quick Decisions: How to Collaborate When You Have to Decide Fast
- Repairing Broken Trust on Your Team: A Leader’s Guide to Rebuilding Collaboration
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