To Get Better at Human Connection, Make Connecting a Habit
“Hey Karin, I was just in your and David’s session at the Association for Talent Development (ATD) Global Conference in New Orleans, where you talked about human connection and the 4 dimensions of productive
conflict (collaboration): connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment.
And I’ve got to tell you. There are a few people on my team who struggle with connection. How can I train someone to connect? #AskingforaFriend
Let’s start here few connection habits from our new SynergyStack System. These habits are designed to be easy to implement and can help build stronger, more meaningful connections in the workplace.
Start with One or Two Practical Habits
When someone is more task-focused, the last thing they want to hear is that they need to “be more connected.” That can feel vague and overwhelming. What I find works better is to break the job of connecting into practical tangible habits (you might even call them “tasks”) that people can practice.
If you’re naturally great at connecting, this can feel silly, but trust me, I’ve helped many people pick a few habits and put connecting on their “to-do” list. Task-oriented people are normally great at getting stuff done once they know what to do.
Start with just one or two habits and encourage the person you are looking to train on building human connection to schedule time on their calendar to do this.
For example, a good time to practice the “care about you” habit would be in a one-on-one or staff meeting. So they could just add “CAY (for Care About You)” to those appointments on their calendar as a reminder.
Or perhaps there’s a company event coming up, where you could encourage them to consider how they will use that time to get to know two people better by asking about their people, pets, or projects.
Once they’ve agreed to experiment with a few habits, the next step is to “schedule the finish” and pick a time where they can share what they did and the impact they had. If they know they have time on the calendar to talk wth you about this again, they are more likely to follow-through. Plus reflecting on the process will help reinforce the habit. And of course, this gives you a scheduled time to encourage, reinforce, and discuss how they will keep the progress going.
4 Important Habits That Help People Connect
1. I care about you and show you in my words and actions.
Empathy is a bridge to deeper understanding and trust. When you genuinely recognize and respond to the emotions of team members, it creates a safe space for open dialogue and vulnerability.
You can kick-start a supportive conversation with: “It sounds like you’re really frustrated…”
2. I take time to learn about your people, pets, and projects
For better teamwork, dive deeper than just professional interactions. When you understand someone’s life, it’s easier to understand their perspectives and motivations at work. Ask about hobbies, families, and dreams.
Kick off a chat with questions like: “How’s your new puppy? Is she eating your dirty socks?”
3. I find a way to play—to energize our teamwork and lighten the load.
During tight deadlines and serious discussions, a little levity can go a long way in building better teamwork and fostering connection. Laughter can reduce stress and increase creativity.
Break the monotony and propose a lighter approach: “What if we gamified this?”
4. I work to help you succeed. Your win is my win.
When team members support one another, they amplify their collective potential.
Show your commitment to their success with: “How can I be most helpful?”
Your turn.
What’s one of your favorite habits for fostering human connection? And how do you train someone who struggles to connect well?
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