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Karin’s Leadership Articles

Stop This Terrible Habit You Don't Even Know You Have

by | Jan 17, 2017 | By Karin Hurt, Winning Well |

How do I know you have it? Because I have it too. Most high-performers do.

It’s a sneaky little bugger, because on the surface it really feels like you’re doing the right thing. And on most levels you are. It’s a Winning Well core competency taken to extremes.

But if you go too far, the stress will crush your spirit and undermine your confidence. It’s one more way great managers lose their soul.

In an effort to know your vulnerabilities, to admit mistakes, to always look for ways to improve… it’s so easy to beat yourself up.

  • “What a stupid decision! I can’t believe I didn’t think through all the potential consequences.”
  • “Oh, I didn’t see that coming. I should have been better prepared.”
  • “If I’d only thought about the contingencies early on I could have saved my team a lot of angst and re-work.”
  • “I should have counted to 10 before I sent that email.”

If you’re thinking any of the above or something equally frustrating, I get it. You’re probably right. You made a mistake. You learned something. And you’ll do better next time.

Yes. Own the ugly. Apologize. Get creative and make it right. And then, move on.

Don’t hold a grudge.

Treat yourself with the same level of compassion
you would offer your team, your boss, or the people you love.

I’m writing this as much for me as for you.

When people ask me what’s the hardest part of running my own company, my answer is always the same. “I’m the hardest boss I’ve ever worked for.” And that’s saying something because I worked for some doozies.

Be the leader you want your boss to be… for yourself as well as everyone else. That includes a good dose of compassion every now and then.

Karin Hurt

Karin Hurt helps human-centered leaders resolve workplace ambiguity and chaos, so that they can drive innovation, productivity and revenue without burning out employees. She’s the founder and CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders, an international leadership development and training firm known for practical tools and leadership development programs that stick. She’s the award-winning author of four books including Courageous Cultures: How to Build Teams of Micro-Innovators, Problem Solvers, and Customer Advocates and Winning Well: A Manager’s Guide to Getting Results-Without Losing Your Soul and a hosts the popular Asking For a Friend Vlog on LinkedIn. A former Verizon Wireless executive, Karin was named to Inc. Magazine’s list of great leadership speakers. Karin and her husband and business partner, David Dye, are committed to their philanthropic initiative, Winning Wells – building clean water wells for the people of Cambodia.

6 Comments

  1. Alan Allard

    Karen,

    You said so much in so few words–and on such a needed subject. Love what you say here: “Treat yourself with the same level of compassion you would offer your team, your boss, or the people you love.”

    In my upcoming book, “The Second Question: How to Dramatically Increase Your Production and Income” for sales professionals, I share what I call my “WYSTTYBF” Test (pronounced like “Wistibiff?–it stands for “Would You Say That To Your Best Friend.” I tell clients (and myself) if the answer is “No” then identify what you would say and then say and apply that to self.”

    I read (almost) all your posts! Great insights for leadership and life.

    Reply
    • Karin hurt

      Alan, Thanks so much! That’s a great approach. Just love it. “Would you say that to your best friend.” Thanks for sharing with our LGL community.

      Reply
  2. Jerome Brown

    Looking forward to the conversations.

    Jerome

    Reply
    • Karin Hurt

      Thanks, Jerome.

      Reply
  3. zafarmanzoor

    Very informative post. Excellent thoughts indeed. Every executive must read and practice these ideas.
    I appreciate and value this very powerful statement which is more oftenly ignored.
    “Be the leader you want your boss to be… for yourself as well as everyone else”.
    Zafarmanzoor, Sr. Exec, Pakistan.

    Reply
    • Karin Hurt

      Zafarmanzoor, Thanks so very much!

      Reply

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