When Your Inner Voice Grabs the Mic

As leaders self-talk is important. We must listen to our inner voice. But what if our inner voice gets scared and wants to grab the mic?

What if our inner voice wants too much affirmation?

What if our inner voice needs excessive feedback?

Can an extraverted inner voice get in the way?

Loud Inner Voices

  • Why do some people tell us to stop listening to them before they even start talking?
  • Why do we add last-minute self-deprecating remarks into our carefully rehearsed speeches?
  • How do we get people to listen to what we most need them to hear?
  • How do we sound humble, but confident?

It happens in interviews, presentations, sales calls, athletic events, cattle drives... People pre-apologize for what they are about to say. They tell us not to listen.

  • “In my feeble little mind”
  • “I’m certainly not the expert here”
  • “I’m just saying, well it’s kind of like this sort-of”
  • “…?”

Why Do We Undermine our own credibility at the very time we need it most?

Perhaps we’re…

  • Nervous
  • Under pressure
  • Unsure of ourselves
  • Unrehearsed
  • Trying to appear humble?
  • Trying to be funny?
  • Unaware of the impact?
  • ?

Tips For Shaking the “Don’t Listen to Me” Habit

  • Become an expert about your subject (feeling truly confident is your best safeguard)
  • Plan out your message (write it down)
  • Look for opportunities to speak (lots of practice will build confidence)
  • Ask for feedback (not from everyone, that also can sound insecure)
  • Ask others how they perceived what you said (what direct and indirect messages did they receive)
  • Record or video tape your talk (most cell phones have audio recording these days)
  • Focus on the behaviors you can use to drive respect (plan your desired behaviors)
  • Take a public speaking class (tell your instructor your specific objectives)
  • Hire a coach (they can help you practice or help you discover the root cause)