How Do You Show Someone You Have Their Best Interest at Heart?
It’s one of the most reassuring phrases you can say to someone—especially at work, “I’ve got your best interest at heart.”
Said sincerely, it can be comforting, encouraging, even inspiring.
Said poorly, it can come off like, “This is for your own good,” right before handing someone a project they’ll absolutely loathe.
The phrase might be well-meaning, but it begs the real question:
Do they feel it? Do your actions prove it?
Because it’s one thing to say you have someone’s best interest at heart—and another thing entirely to show them.
A Candid Conversation and a Powerful Question
I was recently talking with a leader who had just completed one of our executive development programs. He shared how he’d been reflecting on the phrase and realized: he wasn’t always sure his team felt it—no matter how often he said it.
So, we tried an experiment together. It was simple, powerful, and I liked it so much, I’m planning to use it with my own team.
Here’s what we did:
He named each of his direct reports, one by one. And for each name, he paused and asked himself:
“What would it look like to really show up with this person’s best interest at heart?”
What followed was eye-opening. Because each answer was completely different.
When It Comes to “Best Interest At Heart,” Not One-Size-Fits-All
For one team member—a high-potential middle manager—it meant, taking their idea seriously. Not just nodding along in a meeting, but digging into it, helping pressure-test it, offering coaching, and becoming a behind-the-scenes champion for their success.
For another—someone whose recent behavior had been… let’s just say, not exactly career-boosting—it meant having a hard conversation. The kind of honest talk that says, “Hey, I care about you enough to tell you the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable.”
And that’s the heart of it, isn’t it?
What’s in someone’s best interest isn’t always what’s easiest. Or what makes them like you more in the moment. Sometimes, the most caring thing you can do is to tell them what no one else will—or to cheer so loudly they start to believe in themselves again.
Practical Ways to Show You Care
Click here to watch the Asking for a Friend Video
So how do you consistently show your team you’ve got their best interest at heart?
Try weaving in a few of these habits:
Active Listening
Put the laptop lid down. Mute the notifications. Be fully present. Listen like what they’re saying matters—because it does.
Connect with Empathy
That doesn’t mean being soft. It means showing people: “I care about you. I see you. I’m here with you.” Bonus points if you don’t interrupt.
Change Your Mind
Be open to new perspectives. Invite people to influence your thinking. “Help me see what I might be missing,” is one of the most powerful trust-building questions out there.
Understand the Impact?
Ask it. Mean it. Especially when you’re making a decision that affects them. Understanding the ripple effects shows you’re not just leading from a spreadsheet.
Speak with Candor
Truth + grace = growth. Don’t hold back on the truth because you care—share it because you care.
Do What You Say
Integrity 101. When your actions match your words, people know they can count on you. And nothing says “I’ve got your back” like showing up—reliably.
When you tell someone you have their best interest at heart, they shouldn’t have to wonder if it’s true. They should feel it—in your actions, in your consistency, in the way the way you advocate for them, develop them, and tell them truth.
Are you looking for more practical ways to take your human-centeredd leadership to the next level? We can help. Contact us to find a time to learn more.
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