I Accidently Got Promoted and Became the Boss, Now What? #AskingForAFriend

You didn’t campaign for this promotion. You weren’t trying to climb anything. But here you are—a newly promoted manager. And suddenly, everything feels different.

People are looking at you like you have answers. You’re expected to lead conversations, make decisions, and set direction. And you’re thinking, “I used to just be good at my job. Now I’m in charge of other people doing theirs?”

If that shift feels uncomfortable, that’s not a sign you’re unqualified. It means you care and want to get it right.

When You Find Yourself On “Boss Street” (An Asking For a Friend Video)

In this video, Karin Hurt shares quick and practical Asking For a Friend Advice on what to do when you find yourself newly promoted on boss street.

You Can Be Reluctant and Still Lead Well

Not all newly promoted managers are natural leaders. Many were quietly competent—the ones people could count on. Often the last ones to speak in a meeting, and the first to fix what was broken.

You don’t need to become someone else now. You don’t need a louder voice or a bolder presence. But you do need a different approach to the work, because the work just changed.

And let’s name something else that might be true: you might still be doing the work, too. Many new managers find themselves in the tricky middle—both leading and executing. If that’s you, you’re not alone. Here’s how to navigate life as a working manager.

Gain Confidence From Why They Chose You For This Promotion

Even if leadership wasn’t your plan, you said yes to this promotion. That matters.

More than one person likely saw something in you—consistency, competence, trust. Take a moment to consider:

• Why did they choose you?

• Why did you say yes?

Maybe it was the challenge. The chance to protect a culture you care about. Or, just the next step that made sense. Whatever your reasons, you have them. Anchor to them.

“I said yes to this role for a reason. I want to lead in a way that reflects that.”

Start With One Clear Definition of Success

As the manager, part of your job is to call the shot on what matters most—the one thing that will make the biggest difference right now.

Your team wants clarity. They want to spend their energy on the work that moves the needle. So give them that focus. Define the win. Then invite them into the how.

It might be delivering a high-stakes project, improving turnaround time, or strengthening team trust. Whatever it is, name that MIT (most important thing). Then build the path with your team.

This kind of clarity creates momentum. It reduces the swirl. And it earns you space to lead in a way that works for you.

One G.O.A.T. Powerful Phrase is to connect your new team to what success looks like for them.  Ask, “What would a successful outcome in this arena  DO for you?”

Build Shared Leadership & Accountability

If you think being the boss means having all the answers, stop now. That’s not leadership. That’s a fast track to burnout.

Instead, get your team in on it. Call a reset. Create a shared agreement for how you’ll work together:

• What does good communication look like?

• How do we give feedback?

• What happens when things go sideways?

• How do we celebrate wins?

• How do we have each other’s backs?

We call this a couth code (commitments on/off the table). You don’t need a branded name—just a way to make expectations visible and mutual.

See Also: Great Teams Hold One Another Accounrtable: And You Can Too

Find Other Experts

This was the first thing I learned as a newly promoted manager, and I have continued to leverage it in every new role I’ve stepped into. I’m good at some things, and quite frankly, I suck at others. I will never be your go-to for getting SharePoint organized, and I take no joy in logistics. Guess what. Others love that stuff.

Your team will respect your vulnerability (and guess what, if you’re not great at something, your team already knows). Admit it and ask for help. Be sure to give credit and thank them.

You Don’t Have to Be the Boss to Be a Leader

The best reluctant managers don’t try to “perform” leadership. They practice it.

They…

• Ask Important questions
• Admit when they don’t know.
• Clarify instead of pretending
• Invite, instead of directing.

If you’re on Boss Street with zero signage, here’s your first one: you’re allowed to do this your way. You can be direct and still kind. Reluctant and still respected. In progress and still powerful.

And if you’re looking for more ways to help your newly promoted managers grow, learn more about our leadership development programs.