Not Every Meeting Deserves Your Time (Or Oars)
The key to smarter meetings is knowing which ones to avoid.
Imagine this.
You get a calendar invite:
“Boat ride. Monday. 2–5 p.m.”
No explanation or agenda. No clue who else is coming. And, even worse, no idea what you’re doing on the boat.
Just… boat.
You start asking around. Other people are going. Some seem excited. Others are just shrugging and adding it to their calendar as if it’s normal. And you think:
“Well… if everyone else is going, maybe I should too?”
Now replace “boat” with “meeting.”
The Meeting Metaphor That Won’t Let Me Go
Learn more in this week’s “Asking for a Friend” Video from San Diego, CA.
More in this week’s Asking for a Friend Video
I recently shared this “mystery boat ride” scenario with a leadership team I’m working with, and the light bulbs went off. That’s how so many of us treat our meetings. We hop on out of obligation, fear of missing out, or pure habit—without stopping to ask:
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Where is this going?
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Do I need to be on board?
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Could I send a message in a bottle instead?
We’ve been working together to ruthlessly prioritize their calendars—looking at which meetings are driving real results, which could be emails, and which need to quietly sail off into the sunset.
And let me tell you—it’s changing the game.
Don’t Get on the Wrong Boat
Before you accept that next invite (or automatically show up to your 10th recurring Zoom of the week), pause and ask yourself a few important questions:
1. What’s happening at this meeting?
Is there a clear purpose? A tight agenda? And—this one’s big—does the agenda actually relate to your most important work or the strategic goals of your team?
If not, you might just be floating along.
2. Who else is getting on the boat?
Are the decision-makers there? The stakeholders? Or are the people with all the answers… on another boat entirely?
Being in the wrong meeting without the right people is like bringing your oars to a paddleboard party. Awkward. Inefficient. Wet.
3. Why you?
Why are you being invited? What specific value do you bring—and what do you need from this session that you can’t get another way?
If the answer is “just in case,” that’s not a strong enough reason to attend.
If It’s Not Your Boat, Chart a New Course
When you realize the meeting isn’t a good use of your time—don’t just bail. Be strategic:
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Could you contribute via email ahead of time?
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Could someone else attend and share back key insights?
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Could the meeting not happen at all (gasp)?
Declining a meeting doesn’t mean you’re disengaged—it means you’re discerning. We need more discernment and less calendar chaos in today’s world of overwhelm.
Your Mini-Personal Experiment
See more on mini-personal experiments.
Look at your calendar for the week ahead. What boats are you stepping onto without thinking? Where are you showing up more out of momentum than meaning?
Pick one meeting to gracefully bow out of. (Bonus points if you help improve it or replace it with something more efficient.)
Let’s stop glorifying busy and start choosing wisely.
Because you weren’t meant to drift through your work week. Y
I’d love to hear from you.
What are your go-to strategies for dodging unproductive meetings? Drop a comment or send me a message. Let’s swap boat stories.
For more time-saving tips see Email Like a Leader: How to Write an Executive Summary That Makes You Easy to Work With
This is terrible advice. If the meeting detours to an area you didn’t anticipate, and a decision is made, your not attending negates your position to object.
Meetings are supposed to be organized well and stick to the subjects listed in the meeting notice.
However, very few are held to that important standard.
A well regarded member at the meeting can (and will) raise a new developing issue.
If you decide not to attend a meeting, it is a best practice to have someone attending watch out for such detours.
If one does arrive that would be of interest to you they should text you, so you are aware and can act accordingly.
Of course, you need to be willing to do the same for others in meetings you do attend.
The better way to recover the time of what appear to be low value meetings, is to develop meeting rules, that govern when a meeting is necessary and ensure the meeting remains brief and stays on point. This takes more coordination and cooperation, but it also reclaims a lot of time wasted in poorly prepared meetings.
Skipping a meeting is the start of a poor communication habit.
Thanks, Cliff, for expanding the conversation. You raise a good point that topics could be brought up that were not on the agenda… and I agree with you that building a culture of strong meeting hygiene and norms is so vital for productivity. I also think it’s essential to be a steward of your time and focus– to accomplish your MITS (most important things). When you ask for an agenda and outcomes before you agree to attend–it encourages people to be more thoughtful, deliberate, and considerate in their meetings. g I’m so glad that you shared your concerns and perspective. Meetings are often a discussion when we work with teams on building a team agreement– more here). https://letsgrowleaders.com/2025/03/17/build-a-team-agreement/
Wow, I didn’t expect a response, but agree with all your points. I spent my early career years working for a large international conglomerate and the meetings became a great burdens.
When I made it into management, I decided to take this on and work to implement a better managed meeting environment.
It took a while and I faced some pushback from the some of the management. However, over time we made it work, reducing the number of meetings and a reduction in meeting durations.
I have carried the lessons learned into the four companies I started later in my career.
Thank you for taking the time to engage and Inlook forward to your future articles.
Cliff, I love it! I’m so glad you were able to make that impact. Imagine if more people did that!