How to Communicate Like a Boss—With a Little Help from Your Pod
You care about your team, and you want to help. But what do you do if your feedback doesn’t get through. How do you know if it’s them or it’s you? In today’s Asking for a Friend, I answer this frequently asked question, with tips on giving (and getting) better feedback.
Whales have a pretty cool way of navigating their world. They use echolocation—sending out sound waves, listening to the echoes, and adjusting based on what they hear. But here’s the key: they don’t do it alone. They move in pods, supporting and protecting each other. They get better feedback because communication is a team sport.
That’s exactly what great leaders do.
Practical Tips to Give Better Feedback
If you want to level up your human-centered leadership game, you need two things:
- The ability to give and receive feedback like a pro.
- A solid “pod”—a group of trusted peers who challenge and encourage you as you grow.
Let’s break it down.
1. Send Clear Signals
Whales don’t give vague, diaper-genie feedback. And neither should you. If you’re giving feedback, make it clear and specific. No vague “Good job” or confusing “Maybe next time you could… you know… think about… something different?” Nope.
Instead of: “Great report.”
Try: “Your report had awesome insights! Next time, adding a few graphs would help leadership grasp key points even faster.”
Instead of: “That didn’t go well.”
Try: “Hey, I noticed the client was frustrated. What if we try opening the conversation with solutions next time?”
See Also: Beyond Magical Thinking- How to Ensure Your Team “Gets It”
Note: If you’re thinking, “what the heck is diaper genie feedback? You’ll probably enjoy my (then) ten-year-old son, imitating my diaper genie bit on why clear communication matters when giving feedback.
2. Listen for the Echo
Feedback is a two-way street. After you share, listen. The goal isn’t just to talk—it’s to understand.
Ask questions like:
- “How did that land with you?”
- “What would make this easier to implement?”
- “Is there anything I can do to support you?”
This is a deep check for understanding. What did they hear? How are they feeling? What are they going to do next?
3. Adjust Course as Needed
Whales don’t just keep swimming straight if an obstacle pops up. They adjust. If someone reacts negatively or seems confused by your feedback, don’t just assume they got it. Reframe it.
“I can see this wasn’t what you expected. Let’s talk about what would work better for you.”
This shows you’re not just there to critique—you’re there to collaborate.
4. Create a Culture of Continuous Feedback
Echolocation isn’t a one-time thing. Neither is feedback. The best teams talk about what’s working (and what’s not) all the time—not just in yearly reviews.
Ways to make feedback a normal thing:
- Quick check-ins after projects
- Feedback huddles (yes, like a sports team!)
- An open-door policy for real talk
5. Find Your Pod (and Use It Wisely)
Whales don’t swim solo. The best leaders don’t either. You need a pod—a group of peers who challenge, support, and push you to grow.
Why? Because:
- Safe Space to Practice – You can try different feedback styles without the pressure.
- Balanced Growth – Too much challenge? Burnout. Too much support? Stagnation. A pod gives you both.
- Accountability – When you say you’ll work on something, your pod keeps you honest.
How to build your pod:
- Set up regular check-ins (virtual coffee dates count!).
- Practice hard conversations with each other.
- Make a pact to be real—no sugarcoating, just honesty and support.
We do this in our certificate in human-centered leadership programs through challenge and support groups. Think executive-led mentoring circles focused on immediate application to ensure your leadership training sticks.
6. Psychological Safety: The Secret Sauce
If you want people to be honest with you, they need to feel safe. That means no defensiveness when someone gives you feedback. Instead, try:
- “That’s a great point—how do you think we should handle it next time?”
- “I appreciate you bringing this up. Let’s figure out a way forward together.”
That’s how trust is built.
Powerful Phrases for Better Feedback
Need some go-to lines? Here are a few:
- To invite feedback: “I’d love to hear your take—what’s one aspect of my leadership that’s working well, and what could be better?”
- To mix praise and growth: “One thing I appreciate about your work is ___. One area for growth is ___.”
- To open a dialogue: “Tell me more about how you approached this. I want to understand your thinking.”
Final Thought: Swim Like a Whale, Lead Like a Boss
Whales thrive because they:
- Communicate clearly.
- Listen deeply and adjust.
- Stick with their pod.
You can do the same.
So—who’s in your pod? And what’s one best practice you use to give (or receive) better feedback?
Are you looking to bring practical, human-centered leadership tools to your organization, we’d love to help. Drop us a note at [email protected].
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