Helpful Strategies for Dealing with a Passive Aggressive Coworker

Episode 260: In this episode, you’ll discover effective ways to handle a passive aggressive coworker. Dealing with this type of conflict can be incredibly frustrating, but don’t worry—you’ve got some powerful phrases to use. Throughout the podcast, you’ll hear examples of passive aggressive behavior and learn phrases to address it effectively. You’ll learn to describe what happened calmly, ask for clarification, and focus on specific goals or facts. It’s crucial to stay calm and not react emotionally to the behavior.

Handling Passive Aggressive Coworkers

00:00 – Introduction to the Episode

The Leadership Without Losing Your Soul podcast provides practical leadership tools and strategies to achieve transformational results. Today’s episode, is all about dealing with passive aggressive coworkers. You will learn a dozen or more ways to handle this frustrating aspect of workplace conflict.

02:00 – Celebrating the Book Launch

Before diving in, thanks to everyone who has supported “Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict.” It’s been a bestseller in multiple categories! If you haven’t yet, please leave a review on Amazon—it helps others find the book. And don’t forget, if your organization buys 50 or more copies, you receive a complimentary virtual live online program.

04:30 – Understanding Passive Aggressive Coworker Behavior

So, what exactly is passive aggressive behavior? It’s when someone feels anger or hostility but doesn’t express it directly. Instead, they use underhanded tactics like snarky comments, withholding information, or backhanded compliments. It’s essential to recognize these behaviors and address them effectively.

06:45 – Examples of Passive Aggressive Behavior

Let’s talk about some common passive aggressive coworker behaviors. They might make snarky remarks like, “Oh, it must be nice to be the favorite,” or avoid responsibility by saying, “I forgot.” Recognizing these patterns is the first step to addressing them.

09:00 – Don’t Call It Out Directly

One key tip: never tell someone they’re being passive aggressive. It only makes them defensive. Instead, give yourself space, stay calm, and use specific phrases to address the behavior.

Powerful Phrases and Practical Strategies

11:00 – Powerful Phrases to Use

Here are some powerful phrases you can use:

• “I noticed…” Calmly describe what happened. For example, “I noticed you CC’d my manager on all your emails to me. Can we talk about that?”
• “What I hear you saying is…” This helps start a meaningful conversation. For instance, “What I hear you saying is that you feel like I’m getting more opportunities than I deserve. Is that right?”

13:30 – Focusing on the Work

Sometimes, the best way to deal with a passive aggressive coworker is to focus on specific goals or facts. Use phrases like:

• “Here’s what we’re accountable for…” This helps document commitments and removes opportunities for excuses.
• “This is what happened…” Calmly present the facts and invite others to review them.

15:45 – Asking for Help

If the behavior continues, it might be time to ask for help from a manager or HR. Use a phrase like:

• “I really want to make this work, and I need your help.” Approach the situation with humility and document specific instances of the behavior.

17:30 – Building Better Relationships

Remember, it’s not your job to change the other person, but these phrases can help improve your relationship with a passive aggressive coworker. Sometimes, you might even turn them into an ally.

19:00 – Additional Resources

If you like what you hear, grab a copy of “Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict.” Visit conflictphrases.com or letsgrowleaders.com for more resources, including a free conversation guide to help you discuss the book with your team.

21:00 – Conclusion

Thank you for tuning in and for your continued support. Remember, you can always reach out with specific conflicts or questions. Keep being the leader you’d want your boss to be.