The Biggest Networking Mistake: Why “I’ll Do It Later” Backfires
Sarah (not her real name) had just received the kind of career news that hits like a punch to the gut.
Sixty days.
That’s how long she had to find something new.
Maybe it was her fault. Maybe it wasn’t. Situations like this are messy. The rumors were already circulating. The grapevine was doing what it always does.
But what Sarah actually needed wasn’t speculation.
She needed connections.
So I asked a simple question.
“Do you want me to take a look at your LinkedIn profile?” (p.s. if we’re not connected on LinkedIn, I’d love to).
I hesitated—I didn’t want to overstep. But I also knew this moment mattered.
Silence.
“I don’t have one,” she said.
Alright. Different angle.
“What professional contacts do you have outside the company?”
More silence.
That’s when it became clear.
Sarah had done what so many smart, hardworking professionals do…
She had built her entire network inside her company.
Mentors. Sponsors. Strong internal relationships.
And almost nothing beyond it.
Here’s the problem:
Internal networks feel strong—but they’re fragile.
They’re tightly woven… and they can unravel 27 times faster than they were built.
When the job disappears, so does most of the network.
The Biggest Networking Mistake
The biggest networking mistake is simple: Waiting to build your network until you need it.
By the time you need a network, it’s already too late.
The Power of “Just Because” Networking
The most effective networking strategy isn’t complicated.
It’s this:
Show up. Help people. Stay connected.
Not because they can help you now.
Not because they might help you someday.
Just because you can.
Because you’re a human being with something to offer another human being.
That’s it.
And yes—call it karma, call it common sense—it works.
What “Just Because” Looks Like in Real Life
Just yesterday, I received three unexpected calls.
Each one traced back to someone I had helped—or someone connected to them.
None of those relationships started with strategy.
None were built because I thought, “This person will be useful later.”
In fact, on paper, most of them had less positional power than I did.
And yet:
- Two of those calls are turning into meaningful opportunities
- One was from an executive recruiter with a significant offer
- All of them had that rare feeling… like opportunity just “fell from the sky”
But it didn’t fall from the sky.
It was built quietly, over time.
How Networks Actually Work
Here’s the part most people miss: Good people know good people.
And they talk.
Often years later.
About small moments you’ve completely forgotten.
The favor you thought was insignificant.
The introduction you made without thinking twice.
That’s what comes back.
That’s what compounds.
That’s what builds a network that works when you need it.
The Real Test of Your Network
When the recruiter called, I wasn’t looking.
I had just left my job to found my leadership company, Let’s Grow Leaders (spoiler alert if you’re reading this… I originally wrote this article in 2014, Let’s Grow Leaders is still going strong.)
So I passed the opportunity along.
To someone else.
Someone who shows up. Helps. And builds relationships “just because.”
Because that’s how strong networks grow.
Your Just Because Network
If you only network when you need something…
You don’t have a network.
You have a last-minute request list.
Build your network before you need it.
Build it without an agenda.
Build it “just because.”
That’s what makes it work when it matters most.
See Also:
After the Layoff: How To Support Your Team When It Just Got Smaller
I was never a big networker. People are surprised to hear I’m more introverted than outgoing. How I show up is situational.
I use to dread the mixer, social gathering, networking event, etc. Yuk. ;-p
I’ve made a one degree shift in my attitude on these events.
When I go to a networking event, I act like I’m the host of the party. Why? Well, the host is there to serve. The host wants to be sure everyone is having a good time. You ensure this outcome by giving.
Next time, imagine yourself as the host/hostess and see what happens.
Works for me. Give it a try and tell me if it works for you.
Steve, That’s such a great idea! It’s funny, I’m always saying to my husband, “why is it that when I’m the leader, I feel totally walking around the room of 500 people engaging everyone, but have such a hard time making small talk at church coffee hour. This explains it. I’m going to give it a try.
Karin – This is a great post! Filled with a situation that I have seen too many times as well. Thank you for sharing it. Great advice and enccouragement!
Thanks so much Chery!
I have an auto reminder in my todo list to network. It forces me to work on it weekly.
Great job on your writing, by the way.
Jim, Thanks so much. That’s a terrific idea…scheduling time to make it happen.
Great post Karin. I have been experiencing this is spades for the last two years. I practiced law for 30 years, but along the way I got to know reporters, artists, owners of bars and restaurants, all sorts of people and all of those contacts have helped me in my present non profit gig.I have a board member I met as opposing counsel in a piece of contentious litigation. Great lesson especially for young people. Make friends, Don’t make enemies….you never know
Bill, Love your story. It’s a huge testimony to your style that friends and helpers came out of even tricky situations with opposing views. Thanks for sharing.
Great advice, Karin! I also have found that as my network has become more dispersed it’s up to me to touch base every once in a while because I value our relationship and connection… and not just when I need a favor.
Alli, Beautiful. Connecting to just connect.
This is so true. People will always remember that you once helped them with no strings attached. Karin, you’re definitely one if my “good people”. Great post.
Yomi, Thanks so much, and you are one of mine. Namaste.
Great post, Karin.
I have found that the best way to network is to treat everyone as though they are of value. Not only is this just the right way to treat others, it’s also a great way to network because you never know who knows who! I can’t tell you how many times my best connections have come through people in my church or my community who would not be viewed as “a valuable cog in my network” but, when you get to talking with them, have so much to offer, either in experience or connections.
Thanks for the great reminder that we all need to network and build up relationships, wherever we find them.
LaRae, Thank you. I so agree, people who can become very important to you (and you to them) are lingering around every corner.
I have learned that one needs to approach networking in a purposeful, yet natural way. As long as we share with others who we are, what we can do to help them and present ourselves authentically, we are bound to be successful.
I love your point of not waiting to network until you need a network. A very true statement and one that is very wise.
Thanks Karin for a great post!
Terri, An excellent addition. Showing up authentically and letting people in is key.
Loved your post Karin. It is relateable and easy to implement just by virtue of the fact that we are humans and are gifted with the natural instinct to help others. Would like to add that when I network with people, I also introduce people to each other which helps widen the circle. This helps add talking points and also keeps people engaged.
Vidhi, Excellent addition. Yes, being a networking catalyst can be so helpful and people are always so grateful. I have a few friends who are AMAZING at that.