Recurring Conflict at Work? Here’s How to Stop the Merry-Go-Round

Tired of the Same Old Arguments?
Here’s How to Fix Recurring Conflict for Good 🎠

You’ve had that conversation before—the one where you finally address the issue with your coworker. Maybe you both used some of your favorite codes or Powerful Phrases. Maybe it even ended in a smile.

But then comes Monday.
Same conflict. Same reaction. Oh yes, and same result.
Welcome back to the recurring conflict merry-go-round.

So what do you do when you think you’ve resolved a workplace issue… and it just keeps spinning back your way? Let’s talk about that.

Why Recurring Conflict Happens (Even When You Thought It Was Fixed)

If you’re stuck in recurring conflict, you’re not alone—we hear about this pattern all the time in our leadership programs. Someone speaks up, everyone nods, but nothing actually changes.

Here’s why that happens:

1. There’s no shared clarity.
2. The commitments are too vague.
3. They fail to schedule the follow-up.

If you’re not intentional about how you land the conversation, it’s easy to hit “repeat” instead of “resolve unintentionally.”

Four Ways to Break the Cycle of Recurring Conflict

Watch this Asking for a Friend Video (Filmed in Dollywood)

1. Start With Genuine Connection

Recurring conflict often comes from assumptions about intent. So before you jump into logistics, begin with connection.

Say something like:

“I really care about you and this project, and I’m confident we can find a solution that works for both of us.”

This tells the other person: I’m not here to blame you. I’m here to fix this with you.

2. Get Crystal Clear on What You’ve Agreed To

A major cause of recurring conflict is leaving the conversation without aligned understanding. You think they meant one thing. They think you meant another.

Fix it with this simple phrase:

“So what I’m hearing is that we’ve agreed to ____. Is that right?”

If you walk away with different expectations, you’re guaranteed to be back on the conflict carousel next week.

3. Replace Vague Agreements With Tangible Actions

If you’ve ever “agreed to communicate better” or “be nicer,” you’ve seen how quickly vague agreements lead right back to—you guessed it—recurring conflict.

Instead, go specific:

“So, we’ll each post our updates in the shared doc by Thursday noon. That way we’re not chasing each other for input on Friday.”

Now you’ve got a real agreement, not just good intentions.

4. Always Schedule the Finish

Here’s the power move: don’t end a conflict conversation without setting up the follow-up.

Say this:

“Let’s schedule a quick check-in in two weeks to see how it’s going. I’ll put it on both our calendars.”

This builds accountability and gives you a natural window to course-correct—before the conflict recurs.

Dealing With the Emotional Leftovers of Recurring Conflict

One reason recurring conflict keeps, well, recurring… is that we pretend it didn’t happen before.

Don’t skip the emotional truth. Acknowledge it:

“It sounds like this issue has been frustrating for both of us. I appreciate you being willing to keep working through it with me.”

You’re not just solving the behavior—you’re tending to the relationship.

Move From Recurring Conflict to Consistent Progress

Recurring conflict doesn’t mean you’re bad at resolving issues—it just means the clarity, specificity, or commitment wasn’t strong enough last time. But you can fix that.

Next time the merry-go-round starts to spin, bring these to the ride:

• Connection that shows you care

• Clarity that confirms you’re aligned

• Specific agreements you can track

• A scheduled check-in to close the loop

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