An Unusual Conversation on Trust: For LGL Regulars

I’m going to start with a pre-apology. This won’t be my best post, but  I always believe in showing up when expected- and transparency. Muck is all part of leadership, pretending it’s easy doesn’t help grow leaders.

The Plan

I had planned for a productive weekend:  A glorious cocktail of preparation for some very important work I am doing on trust with a group of Nigerian higher education leaders this week; a number of proposals and design work (game on); and getting the blog ready for this week in English and Spanish (check out our new Spanish site).  Oh yes, and another surprise coming soon for you. And then of course the family fun like watching little league baseball, a birthday party, and some Father’s day celebration. I was hoping to have a brilliant Father’s Day post. If you’re newer here, read this one from my first year of blogging (about my Dad who this year spent his Father’s Day supporting me at the hospital… yup, foreshadowing)

The Story

My son, Sebastian, broke his arm and was medi-vaced from one hospital to another to address complications. It’s been a long 24 hours and we’re all exhausted. He will have a full recovery. I am full of thanks to the doctors and nurses who truly care. Sebastian now sleeping, I’ve got a moment to reflect on how important trust is during our most frightening times: From the receptionist at Hopkins ER who took one look at my stressed face and said “the paper work can come later,” to all the doctors with straight talk about “risks and choices”  who then shared their honest opinions based on their personal perspective (all with children the same age); To my husband and the rest of my pit crew who executed elegantly. The hospital wing was filled with moms, dads and children all trusting strangers and one another do their very best in situations much more serious than ours. My family got to go home today feeling lucky.

Back to Trust

And so in lieu of my usual fare, I offer up a quote with which I will start my upcoming trust workshop to tee up our week on LGL.

“I believe in trusting men, not only once, but twice. In giving failure another chance.” – James Cash (JC) Penny

As well as the old chinese proverb:

 “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me”

When is it time to trust again? When do you stop trusting? How do you know?

Forgive and Refresh: Returning to The Leader You "Meant to Be"

Today, Rosh Hashanah, marks the beginning of the Jewish New Year. Although I am not Jewish, I am intrigued by the concepts surrounding this holiday, particularly the ritual of teshuva – a time to forgive and seek forgiveness.

When making teshuva, people reflect on the year and consider the people from whom they need forgiveness and then go about making things right. The concept offers spiritual complexities and beliefs that may be deeply meaningful for some readers, and disturbing for others.

So I invite readers of all faiths and beliefs to join me in exploring the concept of teshuva more pragmatically and from a leadership point of view.

What is Teshuva?

According to Rabbi Shraga Simmons, teshuva is dry cleaning for the soul:

“Teshuva literally means return. When we do teshuva, we examine our ways, identify those areas where we are losing ground, and return to our own previous state of spiritual purity.”

In his collection, Eyes Remade for Wonder, Rabbi Lawrence Kushner explains how this tradition gives people a chance to reflect on what they “meant to be”.

Teshuva, the act of returning to whom you meant to be, can change who we were. It cannot change what we did, but it can change the meaning of what we did. In so doing, it can change the future.

Don’t make teshuva because it will make some pain go away. Make teshuva because it will send you back to who you were, change it into who you meant to be, and in so doing change you into whom you still might become.

Obviously, we cannot undo the past. What is done is done. But what we do now about what did then, while not altering the past deed itself, can place it in a new context of meaning.

For example, we may have injured someone with a thoughtless remark long ago. Now we not only acknowledge, regret and repudiate what we did, we devote ourselves to repairing the damage.

Forgiveness for Leaders

In thinking of my own leadership journey and reflecting on my last year, I think of all the times I could have:

  • been more patient
  • said things in a different way
  • asked more questions
  • not freaked out
  • taken on more of the burden
  • paid a bit more attention to someone in need
  • listened more intently
  • been more available
  • responded more quickly
  • thought twice before speaking
  • provided more recognition
  • included more people

From whom do you need forgiveness?
How will you?

Who needs you to forgive them?
How will you?

For what do you need to forgive yourself?
How will you?

What is it that you need to “just let go”?
How will you?

Forgive and Refresh: Returning to The Leader You “Meant to Be”

Today, Rosh Hashanah, marks the beginning of the Jewish New Year. Although I am not Jewish, I am intrigued by the concepts surrounding this holiday, particularly the ritual of teshuva – a time to forgive and seek forgiveness.

When making teshuva, people reflect on the year and consider the people from whom they need forgiveness and then go about making things right. The concept offers spiritual complexities and beliefs that may be deeply meaningful for some readers, and disturbing for others.

So I invite readers of all faiths and beliefs to join me in exploring the concept of teshuva more pragmatically and from a leadership point of view.

What is Teshuva?

According to Rabbi Shraga Simmons, teshuva is dry cleaning for the soul:

“Teshuva literally means return. When we do teshuva, we examine our ways, identify those areas where we are losing ground, and return to our own previous state of spiritual purity.”

In his collection, Eyes Remade for Wonder, Rabbi Lawrence Kushner explains how this tradition gives people a chance to reflect on what they “meant to be”.

Teshuva, the act of returning to whom you meant to be, can change who we were. It cannot change what we did, but it can change the meaning of what we did. In so doing, it can change the future.

Don’t make teshuva because it will make some pain go away. Make teshuva because it will send you back to who you were, change it into who you meant to be, and in so doing change you into whom you still might become.

Obviously, we cannot undo the past. What is done is done. But what we do now about what did then, while not altering the past deed itself, can place it in a new context of meaning.

For example, we may have injured someone with a thoughtless remark long ago. Now we not only acknowledge, regret and repudiate what we did, we devote ourselves to repairing the damage.

Forgiveness for Leaders

In thinking of my own leadership journey and reflecting on my last year, I think of all the times I could have:

  • been more patient
  • said things in a different way
  • asked more questions
  • not freaked out
  • taken on more of the burden
  • paid a bit more attention to someone in need
  • listened more intently
  • been more available
  • responded more quickly
  • thought twice before speaking
  • provided more recognition
  • included more people

From whom do you need forgiveness?
How will you?

Who needs you to forgive them?
How will you?

For what do you need to forgive yourself?
How will you?

What is it that you need to “just let go”?
How will you?