When we feel stuck, there is a tendency to push harder. What if that doesn’t work?
“If you do everything you possibly can to get something to happen, and it doesn’t, than an angel must be on the road somewhere, so don’t beat the donkey. Take a little time out, smell the flowers, and rethink your route and your mission.”
Frustration is part of leadership
Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. We all get stuck from time to time. The typical reaction
- push our teams more
- push ourselves even harder
- work longer hours
- add more resources
Sometimes pushing more is helpful. Sometimes it is not. In his best-selling book, The Dip, Seth Godin shares how to know when to push through the muck, and when to “quit with integrity.” Much time and future opportunity is wasted on pushing through when it would have been better to quit and to try a different approach.
Frustration is part of careers
Frustration can also be part of careers. I often see people get “stuck” and start to push. The typical reaction.
- push for an explanation
- push for more feedback
- do more stakeholdering
- question our worth
I remember the first time I felt really stuck in my career. A mentor told me, “what’s for you won’t miss you.” Not what my ambitious twenty-something self wanted to hear. I pushed harder. I got frustrated, disappointed and angry. The thing is, I never did get that “dream job.” Ironically, a few years later I was offered a much more senior job over that department, leading the people who now held that role.
Apparently, she was right “what was for me” didn’t “miss” me. I now regret all that wasted frustration.
Bethany Butzer, Ph.D. reminds us to “surrender control and allow yourself to be guided to the outcome that will be of highest service to both you and the world.” That can be difficult, but surprisingly effective.