He thinks he’s ready to be promoted. You don’t. You don’t want to crush his spirits, but he’s not listening. He blames you, the system, politics, and that crazy project you gave him last year. He’s a strong performer and a vital member of your team. You know he’ll get there, but only if he listens.
Tell the truth without crushing his soul.
7 Ways to Get Him to Listen
- Understand His Perspective – Uncover the source of his inflated perceptions. It’s likely that his strong performance is a factor. Perhaps he’s been told all along that he was on the fast track, and he’s been paying his “dues” through special assignments and maybe even relocation. Get him to share his perspective and offer yours.
- Compassionate Straight Talk – Share your point of view and offer support. “You’re not ready now, and here’s why. If you really want this, and are willing to listen and work hard, I’m all in to help.”
- Shadowing – Have him hang out with you for a day or two. Don’t hold back. Expose him to the political pressures, the late-night fire drills, the tough decisions. Every time I’ve done that I’ve heard, “I had no idea.” and sometimes, “I don’t want your job.”
- Skip Level Meeting – Encourage him to meet with your boss. Have her share what she looks for when hiring at your level. Ask her to share her perceptions on his strengths, and his developmental opportunities.
- Stories – Share your own career story. Be open about your disappointments. Help him take the long view.
- Expand His Scope – Most promotions involve a substantial increase in scope and scale. Find ways to increase challenge and expose him to broader pressures in his current role.
- Tangible Actions – It’s likely he’s heard the feedback before, but it didn’t feel actionable. No one knows what to do with “you lack political savvy.” Much better to say, “let’s work on building 5 new trusted connections in the next 6 months.” Nurturing self-awareness is a gift. Help others to see themselves as others see them. Help them grow into their powerful potential.