The Danger Of Knowing Exactly What You Want

Kerri knows exactly what she wants in her “some day” husband. He’s her intellectual peer, has common interests, and is hot – like her. She’s got big plans for her large hypothetical family.

She’s convinced Mr. Right is right around the corner. She only looks up when he matches the picture on her vision board. She doesn’t date much.

“We all have possibilities we don’t know about. We can do things we don’t even dream we can do.”
~ Dale Carnegie

It happens in careers too. Have a vision, mind-map your life, set goals, make plans, get up earlyhustle. Without direction, you’ll under-achieve. With over-direction you’ll destroy your potential.

The Danger of Knowing Exactly What You Want

Beware of the downsides of your know-it-all pursuit. Laser-like focus burns past peripheral opportunities. Strategically built networks exclude the “weirdos” you need.

“Tenacity is using new data to make new decisions to find new pathways to find new ways to achieve a goal when the old ways didn’t work.”
~ Seth Godin

Dogged pursuit of exactly what you want scares those who’ve got relevant guidance. Pushing too hard, pushes away possibilities:

  • In pursuit of promotion, you miss your calling
  • You make the deadline, but miss the mistake
  • You hustle past the guy you need to know
  • You love your suppliers, so stop hearing pitches
  • You’re too busy to take on the special project

Hustle With Possibility

Think big, set goals, make plans and then…

  • Pause for rest and reflection
  • Hang out with unusual suspects
  • Read on unrelated topics
  • Volunteer
  • Make lateral moves
  • Notice what brings you joy
  • Listen to your team

6 Ways To Encourage Persistence (Without Crushing Your Team)

“Persist through CRAP.Criticism, Rejection, Assholes, and Pressure.”

Persistence– the common denominator of success. Dissect the stories of highly successful people across any context: relentless commitment, radical hours, laser focus, tremendous sacrifice. I’m always inspired by the stories of those who’ve “made it.” Bottom line, highly successful people have an abnormal commitment to their vision (hear from Michael Phelps, Will Smith and others in this short video. Cliff’s notes: work your butt off and be relentlessly persistent.
You can’t expect your entire team to care that much or live like that. But, connecting your team to a powerful vision and encouraging desire to achieve it, is vital when developing your people.

Teach the power of persistence.

 6 Ways to Encourage Persistence

  1. Model Obsession – I’ve been called a “maniac” and “obsessed” more than once in my quest to develop great leaders and winning organizations.

    I get what Phelps and others say in the above video. There’s truth to Will Smith’s confession, “I’ve never seen myself as particularly talented. Where I excel is a ridiculously, sickening work ethic. The person that works the hardest wins.”

    Model persistence to your vision. Be a positive maniac for what you believe in. Your energy will inspire.

  2. Empathize to Energize – If they’re frustrated and disappointed chances are you are too. Many leaders pile on with additional pressure. I’ve NEVER seen that help.

    A better choice is to acknowledge your feelings, and work from there. “I know we both wanted this project to be successful, and it’s not going the way we want. I understand your frustration. I’m feeling it too. Let’s brainstorm the best solution from here.

  3. Leverage Success – When someone’s down it easy to remember all the other bad times. Help them to recall their prior successes.

    Mine past wins to inspire future solutions.

  4. Break Down Frustration – Frustrated feels overwhelming. There’s nothing more intimidating that a stack of against you odds. Help them break down the problem into attainable solutions. Celebrate the small wins.
  5. Outline Options – Stuck sucks. See beyond closed doors. Ask questions to identify options. Options empower and inspire perseverance.
  6. Encourage Relationships – Most frustration and failure involves relationship breakdowns. Encourage stakeholdering and communication. Help them identify potential supporters. If there’s a real jerk involved, work a squeeze play by surrounding him with supporters of your idea.