Don’t keep secrets. Keeping secrets creates short-term advantages and long-term costs. You gain the edge, but lose the relationship. The world could use less secrets and more sharing. I wish you would share more.
Annoying Secret #1: Bad News
I was happy when he brought me bad news. His eyes matched his words,”I’m really worried.” I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. I was worried too
You’ve had those moments. So have I. You desperately want a leadership do-over, but it’s too late. It’s out there – your dark side in all it’s glory.
“Powerful you have become. The dark side I sense in you.”
You hear yourself apologizing: “I just wasn’t myself.”
You are born authentic. Life happens. You slowly start to hide bits of yourself from yourself and others. Not deliberately. It’s a gradual mutation, hard to see– let alone feel. You work to convince your heart this new you is practical, even necessary. More life happens. Reverse the pattern.
Benefits of Aging
From the hundreds of folks weighing in on yesterday’s post in various circles
Authenticity is risky. When you lead from your heart, feedback stings brighter. It takes courage to think (and even more to say) to those in positions of power, “Thank you, I understand you, I choose not to lead that way.” I’ve said that. These potentially vital words are treacherous on two fronts. First, you may be missing an important point. Maybe you should be leading differently. Or, even if
Remember how energized you were that time you received meaningful recognition? Perhaps it was something equivalent to the leader of the year award, in front of a big crowd. Hands were shaken and pictures taken. Or it might have been less formal, but deeply touched your heart. “Wow, they really get what I’ve contributed here.” Formal recognition feels fantastic (I know, informal is equally
You want to show up authentic, but then again not every environment is safe. If you tell your secret, will they admire your courage? Will it bring you closer to your boss and others? Or. Will they judge you? Will doors open or close as a result of your authenticity? Bill Treasurer, author of Leaders Open Doors, shares a powerful story of how revealing a deep secret opened the doors to remarkable opportunity. I
This month’s Frontline Festival is all about Feedback and Coaching. I am delighted by the outpouring of submissions. It’s an amazing line-up.
Lolly Daskal, encourages us to take some risks in giving feedback in her post, We Need a Courageous Conversation “In most organizations, and in our relationships, we’re all so busy being polite with everyone that we’re either
Cut the crap. Stop using buzzwords. Say what you mean, not what feels fancy. Distract with your words, and they won’t hear your message. Leaders use buzzwords to … mask insecurity sound like leaders because they worry that they aren’t) enhance credibility as a substitute for substance fill space distract feed their buzzword habit I’m working to “peel back the onion” in this