Do They Hear What You Hear?

Do They Hear What You Hear?

He wants to be promoted, but something’s missing. You feel it, your boss feels it, but it’s hard to put your finger on it. He’s completed all the action plans, and has done everything you’ve asked. Look more deeply, does he hear what you hear?

“Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The leap to the next level requires a keen sense of hearing. It’s an acquired skill, hard to explain in your development program. HR knows it too, but it’s unlikely they’d let you include it in the job description.

What They Must Hear

The Look in Their Eyes – Strong leaders commit to the moment. They can’t be searching for words or remembering the talk track. And they REALLY can’t get stuck on the script. Teach your growing leaders to watch the room and the look in their eyes. If the crew’s not tracking, it’s time to regroup. Teach them to search deeper. Help them change their approach ( not their values). Look for alternative doors to open similar possibilities.

Political Undertones – Great hearing starts long before the talking begins. Assign hearing homework. Help them assess the landscape and positions, BEFORE they plan their presentation.

Bigger Context – It’s hard to speak like an executive when you don’t have a clue. Give them enough insights to present an integrated view.

Meaning in Data – Teach interpretation not regurgitation. Leaders must pull meaning and implications for results. If there’s a gap, or a trend be sure they can explain it. Not tap dancing… thoughtful analysis and understanding. Help them show up as the expert.

The Unsaid – Every now and then your growing leader will step into an unexpected landmine. If the entire room reacts like they’re in a Harry Potter movie, where someone just named “the one who can’t be named.” Teach them to stop, take it off-line, and understand more before continuing.

Your Turn: What are the advanced elements of hearing well?
Filed Under:   Communication
Karin Hurt
Karin Hurt
Karin Hurt, is CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders and a former Verizon Wireless executive. Karin was named on Inc.’s list of 100 Great Leadership Speakers for Your Next Conference, the American Management Association List of 50 Leaders to Watch, and as a Trust Across America Top Thought Leader in Trust. She’s the award-winning author of two books, Winning Well: A Manager’s Guide to Getting Results— Without Losing Your Soul, and Overcoming an Imperfect Boss. She’s regularly featured in business publications including Fast Company, Entrepreneur, and Inc.

Join The Conversation

What People Are Saying

Tarek   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

Great topic. One of my favorite professors would quote a proverb which said, “with all thy getting get understanding.” It’s crucial that you understand your audience and their expectations. One suggestion is to preview presentations one on one with key people in advance. This allows them to ask questions and digest the information in private. Their concerns can be addressed and tweaks can be made prior to the actual presentation. Using this method will make the difference in whether you have advocates or adversaries in the room when it matters.

Steve Borek   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

To the leader that wants to speak, for the sake of being heard, vs. listening for more information, I have an acronym:



letsgrowleaders   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply


Matt McWilliams   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply


Lindy Welsby   |   13 December 2013   |   Reply

Oh yes, I LOVE that! Will share that acronym with many. Thank you.

letsgrowleaders   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

Tarek, Oh yes, that’s a really good addition. That really makes a difference. Thanks for adding.

Bill Benoist   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

Steve – what an awesome acronym – need to remember that :-)

I was going to add something along the same lines, but you said it much more eloquently than I did. Sometimes, leaders just need to stop talking and listen.

I have always believed people cannot Not communicate

Jon Mertz   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

Karin, Appreciate your key points here. The non-verbal queues tell a leader so much more, if we take the time to be mindful and attentive. These are the skills we need to develop so we can build better teams and organizations. Thanks! Jon

letsgrowleaders   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

Jon, Thanks. So agree, learning to read non-verbals can be so important across many contexts.

Barbara Kimmel   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

Karin- this is the sentence that resonated most deeply with me: “Teach interpretation not regurgitation.” So the “teacher” is essentially asking the “students” to think outside the box. What a novel (and threatening) concept after all the years of traditional, inside the box public school teaching that rewards students for regurgitating information. Those who “dare” think outside the box as kids are labeled as “nonconformists!”

Isn’t it too bad that many promising leaders must go back and unlearn everything they learned in school?

Barbara Kimmel, Executive Director
Trust Across America – Trust Around the World

letsgrowleaders   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

Barbara, Thanks so much. I fully agree. We need to start building these skills young… stay tuned… I’ve got a future topic brewing in that direction….

LaRae Quy   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

This is a great list, Karin. Full of wisdom…I really like this: “Strong leaders commit to the moment. They can’t be searching for words or remembering the talk track.”

Unless leaders can create awareness about their environment, they will never “track” and always be left in the dark about what is going on around them…

letsgrowleaders   |   11 December 2013   |   Reply

LaRae, thank you. Creating real awareness…. love it.

Alli Polin   |   12 December 2013   |   Reply

Fantastic, Karin! I think that there is also an element of hearing the energy. I worked for an org where the managers would run around with a crazy cart on Fridays to give out recognition certificates and things like pens and mugs every Friday. The managers LOVED it! The team? Not so much. The managers only heard “strong leaders recognize people” (clearly, the second part of that sentence never fully landed) “in ways that are meaningful to them.”

letsgrowleaders   |   13 December 2013   |   Reply

Alli, Oh yes. You always have a great add. Yes… hear hear the energy. Great example.

Terri Klass   |   12 December 2013   |   Reply

You provided us with a wonderful list, Karin.

I love the political undertones point as I believe that when leaders understand what is really happening and what the hidden agenda is, they can be more successful in their presentation. Before connecting with organizational leaders I always want to know what is driving their decisions and why now.

Thanks Karin!

letsgrowleaders   |   13 December 2013   |   Reply

Terri, Thank you… excellent, understand wat is driving their decisions. Bingo.