Winning Well on CBS Baltimore with Gigi Barnett

Today I’m delighted to share my Winning Well interview with Gigi Barnett on CBS Baltimore.

Thanks for all you are doing to help spread the Winning Well word. Excited to see so many teams using it for their Spring Book groups. Would love to hear your insights and application. If you’re enjoying Winning Well, we would really appreciate your leaving an Amazon review.winning well bookmark

The Best Damn Doer Syndrome: Why the Hardest Workers Seldom Get Promoted

Are you working too hard?

Does everything fall apart when you’re not around?

Do you find yourself bailing out your boss, your peers, and your team?

If you can answer YES to any of these questions, it’s likely you’re being held back by the “Best Damn Doer” syndrome.

Be careful.

I know. I’ve felt the guilt of being promoted over people working longer and harder than me.

I’ve also promoted the “right candidate” over the one with the most sweat equity in the game.

And the other night, I had one of my clients ask me to help “John,” his high-potential “best damn doer.”

“John’s the go-to for everyone, he adds huge value AND it’s holding him and the business back. How do we get him past being ‘the best damn doer?'”

5 Ways to Overcome Being the Best Damn Doer

The Best Damn Doers are the glue, the lynch-pins, the guys or gals who consistently win the awards…. AND yet are frustrated when year over year their less “competent” peers get promoted.

If this sounds like you, here are a few ways to back away from the grind and add additional value to the team–and your career.

  1. Start with a Heart-to-Heart with Your Boss
    Bosses love the go-to guy. I know. I’ve had them on speed-dial for years. But the truth is, your boss is likely the same person coaching you to “delegate more and be more strategic.” Even when it’s your boss asking for you to be doing the doing, pause and explain how you’re working to develop your team. Commit to setting clear expectations and inspecting outcomes, but resist the urge to be the one to take care of it, even if it’s your boss doing the asking.
  2. Build Skills Before the Fire Drill
    When the crap’s hitting the fan, it’s hard to hand over the reins. Bring your team in early and often in low-stake situations. Get them ready.
  3. Delegate Well
    In Winning Well, we offer lots of tools to help in this arena. Be sure you’re delegating process not outcome, defining the finish line, and are holding people accountable.
  4. Ask Great Questions
    The best way to get your team thinking is to ask not tell. One secret to great leadership is getting your team thinking along the same wavelength. Ask your team open ended questions that encourage them to find solutions (if you’re reading Winning Well, see pages 135-139 for a useful list.)
  5. Be a Curious Learner
    Ask your team to teach you what they know. You might be surprised by their knowledge and approach. Then your coaching is gravy.

Bottom line. The more you can replicate your best damn doer skills, the better the results, for your organization, the team, and for your career.

Step away from the doing, and watch the magic.

Is Your Boss A Gamer? Win Well Anyway.

Gamers are manipulators. They spend their days playing dirty politics, working one person against one another in their ceaseless quest for status. In their mind, winning is not related to organization results. Their meetings and efforts at delegation usually have two layers of meaning, with political subtext just below the surface.

Gamers attract a motley cast of sycophants, other Gamers, and the disaffected. Productive employees leave as soon as they can.

In unhealthy organizations, Gamers can hang around a long time as they manipulate the people around them in a warped Game of “Who will be the last one voted off the island?” Whether or not the Gamer experiences stress and discomfort depends on his or her internal values. Living and working this way is caustic to the people with any self-regard.

 

If you feel like this guy, you’re not alone. Winning Well can help you survive and even thrive despite a Gamer boss or toxic work environment by creating pockets of excellence. Chapter 22: What If My Boss Doesn’t Want to Win and Doesn’t Care About Their Soul or Mine? is particularly useful in this situation.

If you haven’t picked up you copy of Winning Well today, you can order it here. Already read it? Please help us spread the word with an Amazon review!

Frontline Festival April 2016: Leaders share what Winning Well means to them

Welcome back to the Let’s Grow Leaders Frontline Festival. This month’s festival celebrates the launch of Winning Well and is all about leaders sharing what winning well means to them.Thanks to Joy and Tom Guthrie of Vizwerx Group for the great pic and to all our contributors!

Want to learn more about Winning Well? You can download the first few chapters for free here. Has Winning Well improved your leadership? Help us spread the word by writing an Amazon review.

Next month, we are looking for your best insights on professional development for leaders…what do you to to keep filling your pool of knowledge? Submit your contribution here by May 13!

Now, on to this month’s contributions:

According to Mary Jo Asmus of Aspire Collaborative Services  using logic is fine, but winning well leaders also use your intuition. This post describes some ways to develop it. Follow Mary Jo.

Beth Beutler of H.O.P.E. Unlimited suggests that sometimes, winning well leaders must do just ONE thing to make a day better. Follow Beth.

Michelle Cubas, CPCC, ACC, of Positive Potentials, LLC shares, “Winning Well for me is about being in touch with my values. That guides the metric I want to use. Winning feels good. Winning is not a measure of success unless it is by one’s own definition. Also, we must measure the cost of the win to get to the “achievement,” real and perceived. Follow Michelle.

Good management is not motivating, its cultivating an environment that releases internal motivations.
~ Winning Well

Ariana Friedlander of Rosabella Consulting shares that crowdfunding is not about raising money, it is about raising believers.  No one succeeds in isolation, and these 10 lessons learned from crowdfunding are relevant to for any winning well leader that seeks to create win-win-win arrangements for their team. Follow Ariana.

John Hunter of Curious Cat Management Improvement shares that what matters is not your stated respect for people but your revealed respect for people based on your actions. This post provides actions you can take to demonstrate respect for all employees, a trait of those who win well. Follow John.

Paula Kiger of Big Green Pen points out that we can’t “win well” if we are constrained to the feeling that we must “train within the rules”. It is only by accepting the inevitability of exceptions and being willing to take risks that we can grow and thrive professionally. Follow Paula.

It isn’t what you think or say, it’s what you do that communicates trust.
~ Winning Well

Scott Mabry of Soul to Work offers a slightly different twist on winning well. Success can be measured in many different ways. Sometimes winning is giving our best to the situation we are dealt even if the results don’t land in our favor.  Follow Scott.

Robyn McLeod of Thoughtful Leaders Blog  presents “Are you venting or complaining?” where she shares that when venting is handled correctly, it can be a healthy and productive part of creating an effective team environment, and how to vent effectively.  Follow Robyn.

Jon Mertz of Thin Difference offers a unique view that we need to shift out of our winning obsession. Winning has lopped off purpose for profit, market share, or votes. When we focus on creating instead, our mindset shifts to collaboration, betterment, and the right mix of richness and purpose. Are you ready to start a revolution of creating well? Follow Jon.

Remember, you give your team a chance to follow you when you clearly connect their work to meaning, purpose and shared values.
~ Winning Well

Michelle Pallas of MichellePallas.com  points out that winning well leaders don’t act on every piece of adviceFollow Michelle.

Skip Prichard of Leadership Insights says if you want results and sustainable success, this is your guide. Karin Hurt and David Dye share leadership without losing your soul. Don’t choose between humility and results – you can have both. Follow Skip.

Shelley Row of Shelley Row Associates recommends that winning well leaders sometimes stop taking action.  Follow Shelley

Dr. Artika Tyner of the Planting People. Growing Justice Institute reminds us that Winning Well begins with building a shared vision. This determines where your team is headed and serves as a guide for achieving your goals. Follow Artika.

Bonus:

The Winning Well message is being shared all over! Here are links to several videos and podcasts. We appreciate every opportunity to share this important message!

When Working Hard Isn’t Working (Leadership Freak)

What do you mean, I’m a fraud? (Fast Leader)

A Guide to Getting Results without Losing Your Soul (Leadership Insights)

Growing Leaders (School for Startups)

David Dye on Experience Pros

For more, visit Winning Well on the web.

The Winning Well Tour! Let us bring the Winning Well tour to you! Contact me at karin.hurt@letsgrowleaders.com  or 443-750-1249 to talk about a customized Winning Well keynote or workshop just right or your team or organization.

When Working Hard Isn't Working– A #WinningWell Video Interview with Dan Rockwell, Leadership Freak

“It’s amazing how many times people are working…HARD..,, and when you ask them what they’re really trying to accomplish, they’re really not sure.”

-Dan Rockwell, Leadership Freak, reflections on Winning Well

While out on our Winning Well Tour, David and I had an opportunity to visit with Dan Rockwell, Leadership Freak, to hear his perspective on what it means to win well.

This interview as particularly poignant for me since, Dan and I have connected early in my blogging journey, long before I left my day job at Verizon, and he’s been a wonderful supporter and friend.  You can read a bit from our 2012 interview of here.

Do you know a leader who Wins Well? Please let us know.

Winning Well in the News

In addition to our Winning Well speaking tour, David and I are having a blast talking with the media. Here are a few of our latest gigs.

fastleadershowFast Leader Podcast

An Interview with Skip Prichard.

4 Ways to Provide Meaningful Encouragement

My guess is that right about now, you could use some encouragement. Not meaningless cheerleading, but some well considered, well-timed, well-meaning “You’ve got this and here’s how I know…”

In fact, I’d be willing to bet that the next five people you encounter could use some meaningful encouragement too. No matter how confident people appear on the outside, chances are they could use some encouragement to bolster their insides.

The Powerful Encouragement of a “Stranger”

Shep Hyken, bestselling author, keynote speaker, and past president of the National Speakers Association (NSA), was a stranger the day he offered me some best-in-class encouragement as I stepped off the stage at the International Customer Service Association conference. Now he’s a friend.

Sure I had done a lot of speaking before, but only to internal Verizon crowds or to my outsourced call centers where I was “the client.” This was different–no built in credibility. I wondered how my message would play outside the safety of my familiar world.

Shep smiled:

“Great job. When are you leaving Verizon to do this full time?”

“OMG Did I say that from the stage,” I cringed, worried I might have inadvertently let out the secret I had yet to admit to myself.

“No. But it’s obvious this is what’s next for you. Let me know how I can help. You should join the NSA. Call me when you’re ready to go and I’ll help.”

I did and he did.

“What advice do you have for how I can improve my speech?” I asked… and braced myself for the long list.

“Next time I’ll listen with that in mind. But for now, just never end with questions. Close powerfully and exit. If the client wants questions, exit and then come back.”

Powerful, simple advice. Thank goodness he refrained from the list of 37 things I now know I could have done better in that speech.

4 Ways to Provide Meaningful Encouragement

  1. Meet them where they’re vulnerable. Timing matters. Shep grabbed me right after I stepped off the stage when I most needed a thumbs up. Great encouragement is a metaphorical hug.
  2. Help them envision a future self. Sometimes we can see more in people than they ever thought possible. Great encouragement is about possibility and potential.
  3. Offer support. Great encouragement comes with investment. “I believe in you so much, I’m willing to help.”
  4. Coach with care. Yes, offer feedback but don’t overwhelm. Great encouragement breaks down what’s next into attainable steps.

Winning Well leaders seek out opportunities to encourage.

Who in your life could use some encouraging support?

Winning Well in the News

In addition to our Winning Well speaking tour, David and I are having a blast talking with the media. Here are a few of our latest gigs.

school for startupsI was delighted to talk Winning Well on  School For Start Ups Radio.

And David had a blast in his interview with The Experience Pros.the experience pros

And for my call Center Peeps, see my ICMI video interview How to Be a Better Contact Center Manager. If  you’re considering heading to the ICMI conference in Long Beach you can use my code WinWell to receive $200 off the conference registration.

 

Seb and Karin Coloring

#WinningWell Managers Take Refreshing Breaks–Here’s Yours!

Is life a little crazy for you right now? It sure is here! Winning Well is full-speed ahead and we’re so excited!

Even in the midst of craziness though, it’s wise to take a break and we have just the thing for you.

Here’s our Winning Well coloring page! Have you caught the coloring trend over these last few months? We’d love to see your work, so much so that we’ve created a contest.

Coloring this would be a great relaxation and brainstorming activity. So head on over to the contest page to learn more. You just might win something special for your team!

Have fun…managers that win well do!

WW Coloring Page Image

Winning well color circle

#WinningWell – Your Practical Guide from Amacom Books

The Winning Well ruckus has been a delight…and part of that is the chance to be part of Amacom’s book family. The American Management Association is a leader’s source for so many great resources, it’s an honor to have Winning Well among them.

A Winning Well Preview on AMACOM

“You can’t be in last place!” Joe shouted, and immediately winced as he saw Ann’s exhausted eyes begin to tear up.

Later in his office, Joe admitted: “She didn’t deserve that. She’s a newly promoted center director working long hours in a fast ramp-up. The problem is, we’re out of time. The business plan called for this center to be profitable in six months, and it’s been over a year, and we’re not even close. My VP keeps calling for updates every few hours, and that just wastes everyone’s time.”

Joe squeezed his temples. “My people need me to coach and support them, but if we don’t improve in the next 90 days, none of us will be here next year. Maybe I need to go.”

No, Joe needs help Winning Well.

Read more at Amacom.

 

Leadership Heresy: A #Winningwell Guest Post by David Dye

I’m in trouble now. I’m about to commit heresy.

I want to address what I believe to be one of the most important aspects of your workplace leadership.

In my work with thousands of business leaders across industries, geography, and over many years, I’ve repeatedly seen people lose their influence because they don’t address this one thing.

In many leadership forums, many leadership books, and not a few social media memes, what I’m about to say would be skewered, and yet… your credibility and influence depend on it.

What is this leadership heresy?

Management.

Why Management Is Vital to Your Leadership

Your leadership depends on your credibility. You can’t influence people if they don’t trust you. Where does that trust come from?

In large part, the foundation of that trust is your basic management competence. That’s why Karin and I wrote Winning Well: A Manager’s Guide to Getting Results Without Losing Your Soul.

I don’t mean that you have to become a certified professional project manager in order to have influence. What I do mean is that if you don’t have the basics in place, you create chaos and lose credibility with your people.

Now, I understand that many leadership texts will tell you, “If you’re not good at management, hire it.”

Hogwash.

If you run the company, by all means, lead and then hire a good operations person to manage. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But if you’re like the vast majority of people with business leadership roles, the idea that you can hire someone to do your management for you is pure nonsense (and dangerous as well.)

Even if you should become CEO, you are responsible to make sure these things happen. If they don’t happen, that’s on you.

The good news is that the basics of management aren’t difficult.

Four Steps to Manage Well and Build Credibility

At its most basic, management involves a few practices that are relatively simple. As the old saying goes: it’s not hard, it’s just hard work. When we struggle as managers, it is often because we have failed to do one of the following:

  1. Set clear expectations.

I’ve coached managers and team leaders in more than 2000 sessions and in 90% or more of those conversations, the problems we’re discussing happened because expectations were not clear.

It happened to me again recently. I was frustrated with my colleague’s work, but when I stopped to think about it, I hadn’t shared my expectations. I had my own image of what the project looked like and when it would be completed, but we’d never discussed it.

Expectations can come from many sources: the team itself, the manager, the organization. Regardless, if they are not clear, they will not be met, and I can guarantee you will be frustrated.

  1. Train and equip your team to meet the expectations.

After clear expectations, the next pitfall is in assuming that everyone has the knowledge or skills to meet those expectations. Ensure your team members are set up for success!

  1. Reinforce expectations.

This may sound redundant, but think about this for a moment. Every second, your mind is inundated with eleven million pieces of information[1]. Think about how easily you can get distracted. In fact, I’ll bet that you’ll get distracted at least once while you read this article. Don’t worry, I’m not offended – that’s just the way we’re built.

Effective leaders and managers know that they must continually reinforce expectations and keep clear priorities in front of their team. We all need reminders from time to time about where we’re going and why we’re going there.

If your team were a rock and roll band, reinforcing expectations is like the bass line or drum that anchors the song and keeps everyone on track.

  1. Celebrate and practice accountability.

Accountability doesn’t only mean discipline – real accountability celebrates our accomplishments and gives us course corrections as needed. We can easily demotivate our teams by failing to acknowledge success or by failing to hold everyone accountable.

Your Turn

Remember: Your leadership influence is built on a foundation of trust. As you wrestle with management challenges, I invite you to ask these four questions:

  1. Are expectations clear to both parties?
  2. Does your team have the skills and equipment to succeed?
  3. Have you consistently reinforced the expectations?
  4. Do you consistently practice accountability and celebration?

How do you ensure you take care of your management responsibilities (it’s not hard, but can be hard work!)

Be the leader you want your boss to be,

David Dye

[1] http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/287907/information-theory/214958/Physiology

 

 

How to Become a More Effective Manager #WinningWell

As we’ve been traveling for our book tour and media interviews, David and I consistently get asked questions we imagine may be on your mind as well.

So as we begin our official launch of Winning Well, we share with you why we believe this message is so vital for you and your organization. If you haven’t picked up a copy, you can get it on Amazon, in hardback or audio version. If you’re looking to buy them for your team, CEO Reads offers some great quantity discounts, and we would be happy to customize with a personalized template.

What does it mean to Win Well?

Winning Well means that you sustain excellent performance over time because you refuse to succumb to harsh, stress-inducing shortcuts that temporarily scare people into “performing.”  You need energized, motivated people all working together. Your strategy is only as strong as your ability of your people to execute at the front line, and if they’re too scared or tired to think, they won’t. You can have all the great plans, Six Sigma quality programs, and brilliant competitive positioning in the universe, but if the human beings doing the real work lack the competence, confidence and creativity to pull it off, you’re finished. Managers who win well bring confidence and humility in equal measure and focus on both results and relationships.

What distinguishes a Winning Well manager from a “User,” “Pleaser,” or “Gamer” manager type you discuss in your Winning Well model?

 

WW Model with copyrightWhere the other three manager types tend to focus on short-term goals, managers who win well have a longer time horizon. They build teams that will produce results today as well as next year.

Managers who win well build healthy professional relationships with their employees. They maintain high expectations for results in a supportive environment where people can grow and take healthy risks.

They master the art of productive meetings, delegation, and problem solving. They run meetings that people consider a good use of time. These managers practice steady, calm accountability along with celebration.

As a result, their employees tend to stick around (often until they get promoted), and there is a steady line of people wanting to work for them.

What initial feedback are you hearing about the book?

We have been overwhelmed with the response we have received on three fronts:

First, we’ve heard resonance. One manager wrote to David and said, “This is my life! You just described what my normal day looks like. How did you know? Thank you!”

Next, we continue to be told that our tools are “disarmingly simple” and practical. Many readers have shared their appreciation that they are immediately able to take the tools and techniques we share and apply them with their team.

The third aspect of the book that resonates is what happens when you show up truly authentic. A reader wrote to Karin:

I just finished reading Winning Well (it’d been on my Amazon pre-order list for more than a month, and I devoured it as soon as it arrived) and wanted to reach out to thank you and David for a fantastic book. Your book made explicit a lot of things I’ve been doing intuitively, and highlighted some places I can step up and do even better. I’m super excited to put those things into practice and to continue to grow my leadership skills as a result.

I also wanted to share with you my story about the power of authenticity and vulnerability, because I truly believe it is the key to everything I have achieved in my career in the last few years.

The full (and powerful) story of this woman’s journey to authenticity and the impact on her career is here.

winning well in Barnes and NobleHow can I help spread the word?

Buy books for you and your team and write an Amazon review. Invite us to speak to your organization or conference. Join our ruckus on social media (shareable tweets, images, and sample chapters can be found on our website).

How did you manage to co-author a book and still stay friends?
ruckus1Ahh, we will be sharing secrets on this one at our breakout session at the National Speakers Association Convention in Phoenix in July, and in an upcoming blog post…stay tuned.

The Most Powerful Note on Authenticity I've Ever Received

I was blown away by an email I received from a woman who recently read Winning Well.  I was touched on so many levels…by her brave journey toward authenticity in the workplace, by her clear sense of confident humility, by her gratitude for accepting leaders and an inclusive workplace, and quite frankly by the fact that there are Winning Well CEOs out there looking for other Winning Well leaders who have the ability to value competence and confidence over all the other crap that gets in the way of awesome results and incredible professional relationships.

I am so grateful that she took the time to write…and for her willingness for me to share her story with you. As you read, I invite you to reflect:

  • What would it mean for you to show up authentically with your team?
  • Am I creating a team environment where people can show up with their authentic best self?

Here’s an excerpt (shared with her permission):

“I just finished reading Winning Well (it’d been on my Amazon pre-orders list for more than a month, and I devoured it as soon as it arrived) and wanted to reach out to thank you and David for a fantastic book. Your book made explicit a lot of things I’ve been doing intuitively, and highlighted some places I can step up and do even better. I’m super excited to put those things into practice and to continue to grow my leadership skills as a result.

I also wanted to share with you my story about the power of authenticity and vulnerability, because I truly believe it is the key to everything I have achieved in my career in the last few years.

A bit about me: I am presently managing a technical team of what are essentially technically oriented project managers (and she shares her very powerful work history and accomplishments)

I am also a transgender woman, who transitioned while living in Silicon Valley 17 years ago, during the peak of the dot-com boom.

During the years my ex-spouse and I ran our consulting company together, I never talked about my past or my transition with anyone save a few close friends. My ex was scared it would cost us the respect of our clients and, ultimately, their business. It turned out that most of them knew anyway – and, as in your story in your book, it turned out that I’d damaged their faith in me and their trust in our relationship by hiding who I was.

When my ex and I divorced in 2012, I vowed not to make that mistake again. And, in fact, in my subsequent job search, I made the decision that I was going to be up-front and honest about all of my life experiences and how the lessons I learned from them – compassion, tenacity, determination – made me who I am. If a company wanted to look at all that I had to offer and then not hire me because I am transgender, I reasoned, that was a sure sign that it was the wrong company for me.

The final of five interviews for my first role at my current company was with the CEO and co-founder. “He likes to talk about our Core Values”, the recruiter had told me, so when I came into the office I’d already reviewed and thought about those Core Values. “So, tell me why you want to work here,” he asked me, and I just started talking. I talked about my experience as a transgender woman and the obstacles I’d overcome to becoming my true and most fully realized self. I talked about the myriad changes happening in my life at that time – 2013 was the year I divorced, moved to a new city for a new job, turned 40, and saw my adopted daughter turn 18 and move out on her own. I talked about my personal core values and where I saw alignment with my company’s core values.

In all, I probably talked for about 35 minutes. At the end of that time, the CEO looked at me from the other side of a small round conference table in his office. “I’ve scheduled an hour for our interview,” he told me, “and I’d like to spend the rest of the time getting to know you better. But I have to tell you, you’re the most interesting person who’s walked into my office this week, and you have to come work here.”

He still says that his conversation with me is the most memorable job interview he’s ever done. As a result of my willingness to be authentic I’ve built relationships all over my company, I’ve been promoted twice in three years, I have the respect of my leadership, my peers, the folks who I serve as a manager, and other employees all over the company. And as a result of that, I’m able to keep achieving the results I do,  for my team, for the company, and for myself. (One example: after 17 years of waiting, I finally had gender confirmation surgery last year – and, again, thanks to my willingness to engage in authentic dialogue, my company covered the cost on their health insurance.)

Authenticity is the key to relationship-building, I think, and relationship-building has been my superpower career-wise.

Anyway, since you talked at some length about authenticity in your book, I wanted to reach out to share a bit of my story, and to say thanks again for a terrific book. I really enjoyed it, and it’s definitely given me some new ways to think about what I do as a manager.”

This important note really made me think about all the other stories of authenticity I may be missing, even from my regular readers. If you, or someone you know, has such a story, I’m more than ready to listen. I’ll never share anything without your permission. Please reach out to me at karin.hurt@letsgrowleaders.com

FREE WEBINAR

Winning Well-3DJoin me on Thursday, March 31st at 2pm EST for a FREE Webinar: Winning Well: Managing the Art of the Tough Conversation With Your Employees. Click here to learn more.

5 Ways to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

Throughout our new book, Winning Well (available now!), David and I talk consistently about the importance of confidence AND humility, results AND relationships. So many of the managers we work with tell us that the hardest part to master is confidence.

Even those highly successful managers who appear to be Winning Well and making a difference will often take us aside and admit that they sometimes feel like a fake.

They feel as if their success rests on a knife’s edge. One false move, one tiny mistake, and everyone would know they were nothing but a well-spoken fraud.

This is what’s known as “impostor syndrome.”

Imposter sydrome describes that feeling of strong self-doubt that you’re a fake, that your success is due more to luck or your ability to fool people than it is due to your work, and it often comes with your fear of being found out.

If you let it, imposter syndrome will tie you in knots, ruin your confidence, and undermine your ability to lead your people and achieve your goals–not to mention screw up your life in many other ways.

We know. We’ve been there too.

At earlier times in our lives, David and I have felt as if we didn’t belonging that boardroom, didn’t feel that others would take us seriously, that we weren’t as smart, as proficient, as musical, or as experienced as we needed to be compared to that group we were working with.

The brutal truth is that you can’t be the manager you need to be when you’re tied up in knots like that. You’ll try to overcompensate, or you’ll stay silent when you should speak. Either one will kill your credibility and end your influence.

There are several tools you can use to overcome this self-sabotage. Here are just a few.

5 Ways to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

1, Honor Your Past and Your Present

One of David’s mentors said, “It’s a good thing to remember where you came from, but it’s a foolish thing to think you’re still there. ”

His point is that your experiences in childhood and earlier life can serve you, help you make good decisions, give you an appreciation for people from all walks of life, and keep you from being judgmental. It would be foolish to leave that treasure behind. But it would be equally foolhardy to not acknowledge today’s circumstances. That’s intellectually dishonest and dishonors the people who have put their trust in you today.

2. Remember that You’re Always “Too Something” For Someone

These wise words came from 1999 world champion of public speaking and motivational speaker, Craig Valentine. “You’re always too something for someone” gets at the absurdity of it all, because once you start looking for inadequacy, you’ll always find a reason you don’t belong.

3. Laugh at Your Doubts

When David writes and self-doubt begins to wrap him in its constricting coils, telling him he can’t write anything unless it’s absolutely perfect, he can almost hug that little voice, laugh at it and say “Aren’t you cute?It’s hard to be critical when you’re adorable.”

4. Examine it Before You Swallow It

Sometimes your doubts might have something to tell you. Maybe there is a new skill you need to learn or a true mistake you can avoid.  How can you tell the difference between legitimate self-doubt and useless insecurity?

Picture someone tossing you an apple. You don’t catch the apple with your teeth, immediately chew it, and swallow it. You catch it in your hand; then you might inspect the apple and decide if you want to eat it. Treat doubts and criticisms like the apple. Don’t automatically swallow them. Ask yourself if there is something of value for you here. Create space for curiosity. See what happens. You get to chose whether you take a bite from the apple and internalize the concern or toss it away.

5. Leverage Your People

One of the most effective tools for dealing with impostor syndrome is simply to focus on the team you serve. They don’t really care where you came from, how you got here, whether you have a big house, a small car, good hair, bad hair, or anything else. What they do care about is you you can help them succeed today.

It’s nearly impossible to trip over your own insecurities she you’re serving others. This is the reason volunteering is such a powerful experience and why you hear volunteers say they received so much more than they give.

Winning Well Available NOW 
winning wellIt’s official. Winning Well hit the bookstores this weekend (several weeks earlier than expected), and Amazon has starting shipping. if you haven’t ordered your copy, I hope you will soon and write a review.

Looking forward to spreading the Winning Well Word.