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The Danger Of Knowing Exactly What You Want

Kerri knows exactly what she wants in her “some day” husband. He’s her intellectual peer, has common interests, and is hot – like her. She’s got big plans for her large hypothetical family.

She’s convinced Mr. Right is right around the corner. She only looks up when he matches the picture on her vision board. She doesn’t date much.

“We all have possibilities we don’t know about. We can do things we don’t even dream we can do.”
~ Dale Carnegie

It happens in careers too. Have a vision, mind-map your life, set goals, make plans, get up earlyhustle. Without direction, you’ll under-achieve. With over-direction you’ll destroy your potential.

The Danger of Knowing Exactly What You Want

Beware of the downsides of your know-it-all pursuit. Laser-like focus burns past peripheral opportunities. Strategically built networks exclude the “weirdos” you need.

“Tenacity is using new data to make new decisions to find new pathways to find new ways to achieve a goal when the old ways didn’t work.”
~ Seth Godin

Dogged pursuit of exactly what you want scares those who’ve got relevant guidance. Pushing too hard, pushes away possibilities:

  • In pursuit of promotion, you miss your calling
  • You make the deadline, but miss the mistake
  • You hustle past the guy you need to know
  • You love your suppliers, so stop hearing pitches
  • You’re too busy to take on the special project

Hustle With Possibility

Think big, set goals, make plans and then…

  • Pause for rest and reflection
  • Hang out with unusual suspects
  • Read on unrelated topics
  • Volunteer
  • Make lateral moves
  • Notice what brings you joy
  • Listen to your team
What would you add? How do you balance pursuing your goals and staying open to what’s possible?
Filed Under:   Authenticity & Transparency
 
 
Karin Hurt
Karin Hurt
Karin Hurt is an experienced executive, speaker, and writer with a diverse background in sales, marketing, customer service, merger integration, training and organizational leadership. Her company, Let’s Grow Leaders, helps companies gain a competitive edge by building extraordinary front-line teams. She was recently named to the Top 100 Thought Leaders in Trusted Business Behavior by Trust Across America. Karin knows the stillness of a yogi, the reflective road of the marathon runner, and the joy of being a mom raising emerging leaders.
 

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What People Are Saying

Matt McWilliams   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

Woah. This hit home.

I noticed something very interesting a few years ago that has served me well. As an avid reader of business/marketing/etc. type books, I always read them through the lense of where I am at, not necessarily “how can I get the most out of this.”

So when I go back and read them five years later, which is two companies later or a wife and a daughter later or “now that I have a blog” later, books read differently. The words are the same, but my lense has changed.

Often, stepping back from the “now” allows us to see new information in a unique and often enlightening perspective.

That’s why I especially love your first four:

Pause for rest and reflection – Without this, there is not ability to move past “now”
Hang out with unusual suspects – I’ve been doing this lately and it’s messing with me. I don’t like some of the hard topics and decisions it forces me to make, but I am better for it.
Read on unrelated topics – I still read a lot that is focused on “now” but I also read a lot that is focused on “some day” and “because I enjoy it.”
Volunteer – This definitely helps me because by default, if I am volunteering for an organization, I am not the. I am on someone else’s turf and working for the greater good, not necessarily my own agenda.

Karin   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

Matt, Thanks for your great insights extending the conversation. I recently did a podcast interview for the Leadership Dojo. He asked what advice would I give myself from 10 years ago…. I would tell myself to chill a bit (still hustle, but remain open to what was happening around me)… there are all kinds of signs that can enhance your dream and expand your possibilities, but is so easy to miss them in the pursuit.

Ali Anani (@alianani15)   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

Karin-you wrote “Have a vision, mind-map your life, set goals, make plans, get up early, hustle. Without direction, you’ll under-achieve. With over-direction you may miss even more”. What a great writing! True, mind-mapping one’s life shall open many possibilities. Balancing direction is a great concept. What a great idea to ponder on!

The more we know, the less we know for we realize when we add little knowledge how much more knowledge we need to know. This post is a proof of this mindset. Thanks, Karin for illuminating my mind.

letsgrowleaders   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

Ali, As always, thanks so much for expanding the conversation. Alas, it’s never “handled” ;-)

Joy Guthrie   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

Favorite line: “The danger with knowing exactly what you want– you may be wrong.” Is that ever the truth! Fits right in with “be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it.” I’m all for creating a vision of success. I too tried to rigidly adhere to what that vision should look like. Then, found myself at 27 having achieved none of those things. 27 was a very disappointing year. There have been many more years since then. I am still an advocate of having a vision. I’m also a fan of being flexible. Thank you, Karin, for a great post.

letsgrowleaders   |   05 November 2013   |   Reply

Joy, I had such a year too. It’s awesome and scary at the same time. And then… game on.

Shanel Martens   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

Sometimes I find it helpful to simply ask for feedback from those that know me well….

It is wisdom to open one self up to critique and input.

letsgrowleaders   |   05 November 2013   |   Reply

Shanel, I so agree. Those we love and trust are so important in helping us see more clearly.

Bonnie Mann, CPA (@bonniemann)   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

I would add look outside your current experience. I think that very often we get so comfortable with where we are and where we think we want to go that we stop looking at what is going on outside our own experience. This could be looking at other companies in your industry or looking at other careers that use the same skill sets.

I recently interviewed a number of people new to my industry. The company I work for has four divisions. Two that are traditional and two that are not. Without exception every candidate had a resume that stated he/she was looking for a job in one of the traditional segments but when questioned why they wanted to work here, 100% mentioned the non-traditional divisions.

We get stuck in what is but should always be tempted by what could be.

letsgrowleaders   |   05 November 2013   |   Reply

Bonnie, Beautiful add and what a fantastic example. Thanks for sharing your insights and experience.

Steve Borek   |   04 November 2013   |   Reply

I approach my profession as a business, executive, and career coach as if I’m not quite qualified. This keeps me in curiosity mode all the time.

My clients benefit from my mindset of wanting to know more.

letsgrowleaders   |   05 November 2013   |   Reply

Steve, what a great way to approach just about everything. Perfect. We grow so much more as we are searching.

Terri Klass   |   05 November 2013   |   Reply

Loved your post, Karin and especially connected with spending time with weirdos! I have a tendency to seek out people who are way too similar to me and that doesn’t always provide me with different vantage points.

It is always healthy to see the world through the eyes of people different from oneself. It gives us new and fresh ideas. It sparks our creative sides. It’s just plain healthy to open our minds and eyes.

Thanks for reminding me to not have such a strict path or journey!

Polly~   |   25 November 2013   |   Reply

When expressing a desire or setting a goal, I always add “This or better!” Why settle for good…go for GREAT!