Your team decides what you can handle. Like parents protecting young children, they safeguard you and themselves. They anticipate tantrums, and work around them. They’ll even throw in a few things “they’re worried about,” to make you feel better.
Don’t blame them. You’ve taught them well. Your well-intended intensity sends them to the nearest diaper genie to package their story. To get the real deal, avoid these common traps.
How to Ensure You Won’t Hear the Truth
1. Rush to Fix It
They’ve got this. Your “fix” may aggravate the situation. Escalating may damage peer relationships they’ve been working hard to develop. Instead ask how you can best help.
2. Model it
Your team watches how you manage your boss. Watch what filtering you model. They’re picking up these skills from you. Show them how you give your boss bad news.
3. Freak out
Breathe. Nothing will shut them down more than high-emotions.
4. Use it Against Them
They don’t want their mistakes to haunt them. If you don’t know, you can’t “ding” them. Encourage them to come to you with problems and solutions. Commend them for their honesty.
5. Assign More Work
They’re already overwhelmed working the issue. Roll-up your sleeves to brainstorm solutions, but don’t just start assigning to-dos.
6. Bring in the experts
Sure suggest folks who can help, but resist the urge to bring in a superhero to take over.
7. Require more updates
Now you’re nervous. It’s natural to want more frequent updates. If you need more info, make it easy. The team doesn’t have time to build more Powerpoints to update you. They’ve got work to do.
How to Encourage The TRUTH
1. T- Time: Be sensitive to scar tissue from previous bosses. Raise the issue one person at a time. Ask how you’re doing and what it will take to nurture their trust.
2. R- Receive well: Really listen to what they’re saying. Gently probe for more information. Ask follow-up questions, including how you can best help.
3. U- Understand: Reiterate what you’ve heard. Use empathy statements, “Wow, that must be really frustrating.”
3. T- Take it offline: Casually talk to team members one-on-one. Ask what worries them most, and how you can help. Ask what they think you should be worried about.
4. H- Honest: Calmly articulate any concerns. Being real with them, will encourage them to be real with you.